A Nest Of Bugs

Welcome Home: until you hear me again

TW: child abuse

It was somewhere during the school day that he found the piece of paper in his pocket.
He was getting ready to go home, watching the other kids pull on their jackets and chatter excitedly, and he'd just stuck his hand in his pocket and found the little paper.

On it was a phone number, one he didn't recognize- but he didn't know anyone's phone number. He didn't even know how to use a phone. He was only four!

He showed the paper to his teacher because she could read better than him, and asked her what it said. Under the phone number there was a little note written in red crayon, and the teacher had to put her glasses on to read it.

"Let's see.." she mumbled, looking at it. "Call me if you ever feel sad.. W." She handed the note back to Pepper with a smile. "I think maybe your parents left this in your pocket by accident."

She said that, but Pepper knew what it really was. He hadn't thought about that guy for a while, and he really didn't know how that note got in his pocket. But it made him smile a little.

Of course, he forgot about it quickly. But there came a day where just nothing was going right. He couldn't seem to please his mother no matter how many times he did as she asked, and by the time the sun was high in the sky he hurt all over. He snuck out of the house when she'd gone for a nap, ignoring the way his tummy and back hurt. And it was on his walk down the street that he found the note in his pocket again.

He didn't know where to find a phone to call this number. He wasn't even sure how a phone worked. He'd seen his mother using one before, but he was never allowed near the one at home.

Luckily for him. The convenience store across the street had a little booth outside and he could sound out the big letters on top. P-A-Y-P-H-O-N-E. Pay phone. He knew the word phone.

So, gathering up all his courage, the little guy made it to the corner. He looked both ways. Looked both ways again. The sight of so many cars going back and forth terrified him, because he could still remember watching the car make Xiao go flying into the air. But eventually traffic slowed and he ran across as fast as he could, forgetting to look as he went.

There was almost nobody outside of the store. Sometimes when he walked outside with Xiao he saw a lot of big kids hanging around the store, but it was too early for that. He felt the note in his pocket and wandered over to the little box where the phone was. Only, he wasn't sure how to use it.

The note had a phone number on it, and the phone had a bunch of numbers on a little circle, and he was supposed to figure out how to put the numbers from the note into the phone.. but he didn't know how to do it, and it sort of scared him to do it wrong, so he just stood and looked at the phone. He didn't want to go home, and his feet hurt from not being allowed to sit down, and he felt sad just like the note said. He felt even sadder that he couldn't figure out how to call the number on it.

The door to the store jingled and an old man a bit taller than Pepper came out and walked over to the phone.

"Are you having trouble, kiddo?" he asked, standing a little back from him. "Who're you tryin' to call? I can put the number in for you."

Pepper was nervous, looking at the note and then back at the man. Don't talk to strangers, echoed in his head again. Don't talk to strangers, Pepper. There's bad people out there. But he wanted the man to help him, he just wanted to see if the phone would work..

Without talking, he handed the note to the old man.

"Ahh, I see. You wanna call your friend here. Did you put money in the phone yet?"

Pepper shook his head.

The old man nodded understandingly and pulled a nickel out of his pocket, then stepped up to the phone and put the coin in a little slot on top of the box. Pepper watched carefully as he dialed the number, the little circle on the phone going round and round with his finger. When he'd finished, he picked up the receiver and handed it to the little guy. "There you go, kiddo."

Pepper could hear the phone making a sound, and it sounded very far away.

Then he heard a click. A familiar heartbeat echoed in his ears, and then a voice came through.

"Hello?"

He knew that voice. He pressed the receiver closer to his ear and tried to say hello back, but he was too scared.

"Hello~?" the voice asked again.

"Hello?" one more time. Pepper's hand trembled and he tried to find his voice, but only a small squeak came out. He was sure the person on the other side didn't hear him at all.

Then the voice laughed. "I'm only kidding," it said, "I know you're there. Did you like my joke?"

Pepper nodded, forgetting that it was a phone and he had to talk to be heard. But the voice continued anyway.

"I think you are going to say.. yes!" Then he was laughing again, and Pepper could hear every syllable of it, just how the kids in his school pretended to laugh when something wasn't actually funny. "It's hard to hear you think through this funny phone..Very fuzzy. A little like me."

Pepper remembered the fuzzy hand from before. The voice was right- listening to the phone was fuzzy. He held the receiver a little closer to his ear.

"Speaking of.." the voice continued, "do you know who I am?"

Pepper did know who he was. He wanted to say yes and have a conversation, but Xiao's words suddenly echoed in his head again. Don't talk to strangers. And no words came out of his mouth.

The voice waited, then gasped softly. "Oh no.. Well, that's not neighborly at all! Don't worry though... You and I haven't spoken, but I've seen you."

Now Pepper couldn't tell if the voice really knew who he was, or if he was being played tricks on. He tried to say something one more time, but the word got caught on his lips and came out like a baby's garbled nonsense.

Despite this, the voice continued. "Whenever you've looked into my eyes.. what did you see when you did?" And then he laughed again, light and airy, and Pepper felt his eyes water a little. "I hope you saw a friend," the voice continued, "but I'm not sure you saw a name."

"Sit still. Let's start over." Then the voice made a noise sort of like the phone. "Ring.. ring.. ring.. Click."

Pepper closed his eyes and he felt a tear drip down his cheek. This voice was so much gentler than his mother's. He could feel the old man still standing there but didn't want to say anything.

"Hi," said the voice in its sweet tone. "I'm Wally. I'm so happy to finally meet you. I think you're the absolute most."

Now Pepper remembered the name. Wally, whose hands were fuzzy and who didn't like apple pie but gave him some anyway. He thought one more time about trying to talk.

"Uh-oh," the voice said before Pepper could muster up the courage. "I have to go now. But, neighbor.. Remember, until you hear me again.. Keep your smile merry, and always know.. that I love you very much. Goodbye~"

Then there was a click, and the voice was gone. Pepper had to wipe his eyes with his sleeve because they were getting too watery. He put the phone back on its little hanger in the box and stood looking at the note for a long time, letting the words bounce around in his head. I love you very much.

They were such pretty words, and they made him feel warm inside. His mother never said she loved him. It was something completely new, and it made him want to cry. And the old man was still standing there, so Pepper wiped his eyes again and turned around.

"I-I have to go home now," he said quietly, tucking the note back in his pocket. Without thanking the man he turned and ran away back to his house.

His mother was awake then and angry with him for running off. She yelled at him and beat him and the whole time, Pepper squeezed his eyes shut, remembering Wally's words. I love you very much.