Gone

Chapter 15

"But... You actually have internal bleeding and it's getting worse. With your other medical problems..." he just rambles. " Do you mean me being bipolar and the anxiety. Plus in the past being anorexic. I know it doesn't help, but if I'm going to die just tell me now. please I need the truth right now." I interrupted him being 100% honest. I can't deal with the bullshit anymore
"Not if you let us bring you to surgery. Like right now."
"Dip-shit just do what you have to!"
"Okay. Nurse. Internal bleeding. Room 2117, on Elizabeth stat."
"Okay, we're bringing her to room 17."
"Hurry." With that they brought me away. I'm so scared. I don't know what to think. Am I going to live? Will I pull through?
"Thank you for everything. If I don't pull through please don't let Noah get in trouble for his actions. He's bipolar just like I am. With drugs, trust me, it makes everything worse. Please tell him it's not his fault. Please do this if I don't make it. It's my dying wish!"
"I will baby girl." I blackout. I exhale. The nightmare is done. I'm done. I have a changed mind about everything.
"She's up. Doctors she's awake. Ellie, do you remember me? It's okay if you don't."
"Noah! Holy shit I've missed you! Are you out for good?"
"Yes thanks do your dying wish and your support."
"Oh my fucking gosh. I'm happy for you."
"I have something to say though."
"What is it. Just be honest."
"I'm seeing someone. I'm sorry. I didn't know if you were going to wake up and I hooked up with someone and we've been talking and you know dating. It's serious."
"That's good. I'm just glad that your happy. I really am fine. Im kind of tired though, can you leave so I can sleep." I lied but, I'll get over it... eventually.
"Yeah sure thing." He left. I cried all night. The next day I shake and refuse to eat.
"You have to."
"No I don't. Why would I have to. I have no one. They all left me. I only have myself. I screw everything up, things won't get as bad as before. I promise."
"You can't take your pills on an empty stomach."
"I don't need pills. When can I go home?" Wait where is my home.
"What won't get as bad as what? Why do you take pills? Are you okay?"
"Nothing Noah. Get back to your girlfriend. I'm fine. I get to have a kind of fresh start."
"Doctor, can I talk to you please." Then they leave. Again left. I don't want to be alone but, this is my life. A tear wets my right cheek.
"Ellie, I didn't know."
"Exactly. I kept it a secret. Leave me alone, please. It's too much stress. You are too much right now."
"Please Ellie. Don't shit me out. Just because I'm engaged doesn't mean that we can't be friends." Engaged. Why? I now have nothing to live for. I have no one. I'm left. I start to sob. He comes and tries to touch me. I jump. "don't fucking touch me. Get to your soon to be wife. Please don't talk to me... EVER. Why? You know I could've presses charges. My parents are gone, my only friend left me, and now you! Out of all people you! Your the one who helped me. I think I have some kind of thing that people read off me and think that ' hey I'm a bitch. Please just hurt me. Warning entering a crazy sluts life."he just looks shocked and hurt. I don't care at this point. I'm being 100% honest.
"Well, if that's how you feel then bye crazy slut." that's what I thought.
"Have a nice life."
"Same thing to you."
"Um, sorry to intrude but, you can leave whenever, Elizabeth."
"Thanks doc."
"Are you okay?"
"Fine."
"What's wrong?"
"I have nobody. I have nothing, no job, no education. I'm nothing but a bipolar weirdo. I might be back in Rockford but, just forget it. Do you have any clothes for me."
"Yes. Here you go."
"Thanks. Doctor Ryan."
"No problem, Ellie." I left and changed. Of corse I have to walk home. Forgot. Wait where's home? I have a house but, not a safe place.