I Work For One Direction

Chapter 12

As the boys were getting ready I was screaming at the top of my lungs on the inside. I tried to calculate the time of how long Harry and I would actually be together. The boys were leaving at 9 and most likely wouldn't be back till by 2 or 3 in the morning. So 5 or 6 hours with Harry. The first hour would consist of getting comfortable and reducing any awkwardness. Okay Jess.. Just put in a movie and lay on the couch. You'll relax that way. At the end of the movie, fake a yawn and say goodnight. You can do this. You'll be fine. I sat up on my bed and mentally face palmed until I realized I was actually face palming. Get yourself together! It's not that big of a deal Jess! I threw my pillow across the room in frustration. Why did this have to happen? You could have been smart and said no the first time. I wanted to jump out if my window. Dammit Jess. What the hell is the matter with you Jess? Jess! Jess! Jess! I kept yelling at myself.

"We're leaving!"

I looked at the time. 9:06. Shit! It's 9 already?! I groaned and stepped out side to the living room.

"Have fun guys." I said smiling. I should've been given an award for the amount of fake smiles I had pulled off in these short months.

"We will see you tomorrow." Liam said patting my shoulder.

"Please don't stay out too late? I know you guys don't have to be at the studio tomorrow but I don't want to drag 4 hung over goons out of bed incase something comes up like zombies invading us, okay?" I raised an eyebrow at them and put my hands on my hips.

Louis chuckled.

"Goodnight." Niall light pecked my cheek which made the both of us blush.

"Goodnight children." I cooed.

They all said their good nights and I was finally left with Harry who was sitting on the kitchen counter. I looked over at him and gave him a meek smile before I plopped on the couch and pressed play. Love and Other Drugs. One of my favorite movies.

*****

Half way through the movie I started to feel more and more uneasy. Harry had been getting up constantly and moving from the kitchen back to the living room and then to the bathroom then back to the living room and again in the kitchen... Finally I had had enough.

"Harold sit still!" I yelled.

He looked at me funny and then sat down. "Sorry." He mumbled.

I sighed. "No I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." I rubbed my face. "I'm just a little frustrated today."

"Everything okay?" He asked.

I could feel his eyes on me as I focused on the movie. "Yeah. Just.. Lack of sleep I guess." I got up and went into my room to change. It started to get hot in the suite. I changed into a pair of blue shorts and a tank top. I stepped out of my room to find Harry standing at the door. "Harry." I said as I ran into him,

"I know you're uneasy because we're alone, together, and especially since what happened last night and this morning." He kept looking at me while I looked away.

I cleared my throat about to say something.

"Before you say anything you have every right to be uneasy. And I understand. But just to let you know," He stepped closer to me and grabbed a piece of my hair. "I don't see what happened last night or this morning as a mistake. I..don't regret..any of it."

"Listen I don't-"

"Let me finish Jess." He interrupted.

I took a deep breath and nodded for him to continue.

"I know it's confusing. I'm confused too." He ran his fingers through his hair. "But you...you do something to me and I don't know what it is. You look at me and I.." He cupped my cheek. "I don't know I just feel like you're looking at me. You see Harry and not One Direction and.."

"Harry.." I removed his hand from my cheek.

"What?"

"No." I said.

"No?" His eyes furrowed.

"Yeah. No." I slithered around him and walked away.

"Jess."

"What is this?" My voice turned cold and frustrated. "I don't know what to think when it comes to you. What is going on between us. Is it feelings? Hormonal? Intimate? Real? I don't want to fill in your bordness until you have to go on tour. I'm frustrated by you. I-I can't even begin to spell what I feel and what goes through my head when I'm around you. I can't handle anything like this. I'm normal I'm-I'm just not your type of girl. Okay?" I wiped my hands on my shorts since they started to get sweaty. "I just-"

"Stop." He said walking over to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist. "Don't say anything else."

I stared at him confused.

"Just kiss me."

"No Harry didn't you hear anything I just said?"

He rested his forehead onto mine. "Jess. Please just kiss me." His lips inched closer to mine and I could feel my self become paralyzed. "Jess." He said my name again.

"Harry please don't." My voice was high pitched and whisper clouded.

"Why? Tell me why?" His grip tightened on me.

I rested my head into the crook of his neck and I brought my hands up to his chest as he wrapped his other arm around me. His fingers were drawing circles on my sides.

"Jess."

"Hmm?"

"I don't know what this is either but I don't want it to end." He says as he brushes my hair.

I didn't know what to say. Part of my wanted to stay in this position forever. Part of me never wanted to leave his arms. The other part however questioned everything that was going on between us. The feelings, the sex, what was going on at the moment. I couldn't explain what I had for Harry and I tried to deny it. I tried to ignore the pounding in my chest and the butterflies eating away at my insides. I tried as beat I could but I was left with the same feelings I knew I always had for him. The feeling of being head over heels for a boy who I barley knew. The feeling of safety as he enveloped me in his arms. The feeling of loving everything he could possibly do to me. I only wished I knew how he felt about me too.