Lately, my hands they don't feel like mine
My eyes been stung with dust, I'm blind
Held you in my arms one time
Lost you just the same~ Ray LaMontagne
Just a sneaky little mature bonus chapter of the incident (in full) from Jaces POV. ;) it's basically just a continuation of the chapter 'The Incident (Jaces POV) but with what actually happened that night.
(Mature content - just 3400 words of mature content. You've been warned)
(May contain typos)
{Jace)
I think whatever spell she is under has been broken for her when she detaches from me and stands across the room. It's incredibly dark in here but it feels right, like we were about to commit a sin and it would be better if we had the cover of darkness to do so. Every inch of my body is screaming at me, asking me what i think I'm doing.
I wasn't even interested in this tonight and yet with Clary somehow it was different. I'm leaning against the bedroom door and panting while i stare at her because I can't quite believe that she's in here with me before realising maybe she doesn't want to be anymore and move away from the doorway so she can leave. I can hardly catch my breath at the sight of her.
When she doesn't move i find myself speaking
"Are you, ugh" god get it together Jace, this isn't your first rodeo for crying out loud "are you sure about this?" I ask her and push the hair back out of my eyes when it blocks her face. I needed to see her, really see her. God dammit, why did i get so drunk? I'm a mess right now and she's- she's nodding her head. I come to stand in-front of her so i can get a better look. I thought she hated me, maybe she still does. Maybe she will wake up tomorrow and this will be her biggest regret and I'll finally get to move on but I don't want that for her.Her green eyes examine my face, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she looks at me, her face tilted up to mine, flushed and her lips swollen from kissing me. God she was beautiful. I didn't think that about many women but she was an exception. My hand finds her face, desperate to feel her under my fingertips to make sure she's really here.
"Why are you taking so long?" She whispers to me and i find her eyes again, she wanted me to do something. That much was clear but I had a feeling that once we started she would be shocked at how desperate i was to touch her. I don't know if i had it in me to be gentle with her right now even if i wanted to, which was also new to me. I didn't do gentle.
I had all these grand ideas, I had this image in my head, not just in this moment but for a while about how I would treat her right, the way she deserved. I'd take my time and savour every single part of her body and yet now when I had her in front of me I knew that the second my hands touched her I would lose it.
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