oneshots, drabbles & hcs ,, bsd

(a) you don't get to cry | o. dazai x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k
content: no manga spoilers, angst, death, blood, past unhealthy relationship with dazai

attachment to something you hold dear is a curse. it becomes your weakness, something that can be both exposed and exploited. the demon prodigy of the port mafia had no weakness. that was until you came along.

what dazai learns to love is lost— taken away and gone forever. why must he live in a world that does such? living such a life becomes nothing but a pain; a thorn in your side that'll make you relieved once it's out.

oh, you were all too similar to him.

when dazai first stumbled upon you, he had only been in the port mafia for a couple of months. a young child taken in by mori and hidden away from everyone else, that's all you were.

you were sitting, gloved hands playing with a toy when he walked into your room (it was more like a cell). you thought it was mori, so you dared to look him in the eye. normally, you'd kill anyone who got a good look at you, but you found yourself unable to activate your ability.

so you ended up screaming.

with your nails painfully scratching your cheeks, you yelled, even when it hurt to. mori rushed to you, trying to subdue your cries when your eyes lit up. if it weren't for dazai, he was sure he would've died that day. and you, the child taken away from your guardians and forced to serve under mori, would've been his killer.

you didn't see dazai again for years. the next time she showed up, it was with an orange-haired boy that seemed his age, maybe a bit younger. he came to fetch you because mori told him you had a job to do.

a job? you don't get anything in return. this was a task you had to carry out. if you didn't, mori made it clear he'd slit your throat with one of the scalpels he always carries around. you were just another kid forced into a life of bloodshed and death through manipulation. dazai was just the other side of the same coin.

he seemed to deal with it much better than you did. his blood was as black as his clothes, stained with the crimes he had committed with such ease. cunning and manipulative, dazai was a force to be reckoned with.

so it was odd that the two of you somewhat began to get along. you worked in the shadows of the port mafia, so much so that a lot of members didn't believe you actually existed. the only one that knew you— your name, ability, and could see through your mind was dazai. the two of you were children of darkness, locked in a room stripped of any light.

with someone so similar to him, dazai found the capacity to genuinely care for you. you, mori's toy, also learned that you didn't want or need the man. dazai understood you, he cared for you, and he'd help you. you needed dazai, otherwise you would be all alone again with no one else. oh dazai knew it wasn't healthy at all, how you'd cling onto him and constantly ask him to stay with you, but having someone hold onto him like that made him feel just a bit better.