bungo stray dogs x reader
-i'll write any genre besides smut
-manga/ln spoilers are tagged
-content warnings are also tagged
-cross-posted on my tumblrs
written by angel // @anqelically
series by asagiri + harukawa
word count: 1.3k content: no manga spoilers, fluff, sorta comfort, mentions of violence and killing at the start because it's dazai
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osamu dazai believed that someone like him didn't deserve blessings. willingly, he's manipulated, tortured, and killed his enemies. his blood was as black as the crimes he had committed in the past. it stained his soul, never able to go away. there was no one more tainted than him.
however, you walked into his life and for a brief moment, he forgot about his polluted mind.
as fairytale as it seemed, you didn't see him how he was used to being seen— cold-blooded, ruthless, and or mysterious. though, you didn't know of his past as a port mafia executive. in your eyes, he was just another man the same age as you. but for some reason, you let him stick around after figuring out his past.
on a day when love is celebrated, valentine's day, dazai wondered why you loved him. why fall in love with a man that sits on top of a mountain of sins? he decided to ask you while you were both still laying in bed.
"why do i love you even though you did those horrible things?" you repeated, leaning further into your pillow. "hm, i won't ever forget what you told me you did, just like the people who survived it won't. just because you now work to help others also doesn't erase what you've done. if i think about it, i still love you because of how the world works."
dazai raised a brow, "how the world works?"
"mhm, you heard me. no one in the world is just born to be evil, their environment changes them to be. this applies to you, a human in this world. the people that controlled you back then made you this way, so i'm glad you got away from them. just like how an environment can push you to do bad things, it can push you to do good. i'm glad you found the agency because they're all great people trying to do good in this world. some people can be surrounded by good and ignore it if they wanted, but you welcomed it into your life. just like your friend said, helping others is more beautiful, isn't it?"
you lovingly pressed your forehead against dazai's, your nose almost brushing his. your left hand snaked up from his arm to his cheek, caressing it softly.
"i don't deserve you, love. hell, you don't deserve to be with someone like me," dazai said in a negative tone
when you first met dazai, you thought that he'd be cold, physically cold. so when you held his face in your hands and felt the warmth radiating off of him, it was safe to say you were a little surprised. you don't know why, but the warmth he emitted made him even more human to you.
"why? you're as every bit human as i am, are you not? no one can tell us what we do and do not deserve. don't say you don't deserve me just because of who you once were. just think about it now, osamu. i love you because you're willing to change for the better."
after you spoke those words, you finally pressed your lips against his. like a mantra, you repeated "i love you" as you gave him small kisses. after a while, he slid his hand behind your head and pulled you into his chest.
dazai held you close to him, his blessing in disguise.
