ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ? | Hawk/ Eli Moskowitz | SLOW UPDATES

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I CAN TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY for my actions and say i did do something wrong. But admitting i did, doesn't mean i wouldn't do it again.

I did what i thought i needed to do, and still my opinion on my actions haven't changed.

I haven't seen anyone from school in two weeks, my chest was pulsating at the thought of even coming face to face with any of them.

It wasn't that i was scared, more just nervous of how things were going to play out. I didn't have a problem with biting back to their snarky comments, My only problem was facing the boy i had been trying to avoid for the past two weeks.

I was mad at him, but also mad at myself for thinking that someone like him could change.

I tricked my brain in a way to make me believe he wasn't what he made people perceive him as. I was so close to admitting to all of my delusions that he was different.

But he will always be the way he is.

I'm disappointed in Eli, not because of what he did but because he lied. Me and him were never on good terms, but it's like when we finally are it's ripped away from us all because someone was being stupid.

I don't know what i feel for him, or what to feel about him. But all i know is that the feelings i'm having are nothing good.

I sigh, pulling off the helmet of my bike and smoothing down my dark hair beneath it.

Going back to school wasn't the hard part. It was facing the people you don't want to see again that made it difficult.

Two weeks ago our school fights went public. The press broadcasted the story everywhere. It was practically impossible to not hear about it, the rumours and fight videos were being shown everywhere.

It angered me. Seeing everyone forget to talk about the boy who suffered most during the whole thing. They are laughing and whispering as Miguel's life was being trapped in a box till he could wake up and sort it out.

Even then, him waking up wasn't guaranteed. For all we knew he could be trapped in his own body forever, reliving the last moment he felt before plummeting to the ground.

He was hurt badly. And everyone sort of forgot and chose to focus on the humiliation of others.

I seen the videos. Eli being thrown into a trophy case, sam being injured by tory and even the smaller ones like Mitch being hit with a textbook.

Brooke had got into her handful of fights, and my mind betrayed me for even wondering if she was okay.

Clips from me and Dellas fight circled the internet too, and although she knocked unconscious part of me felt guilty for even letting her make a mark on my skin.

I begin to walk, my eyes focusing on the line up outside the front doors. Multiple police officers and security guards wait around the area, doing nothing but watching.

I walk further up, following the line before being stopped by one of the guards up front.

"Excuse me miss, your bag." He gestures towards my backpack. Only now do i realize they are doing the daily check ins they mentioned in the email they sent to our parents.

What has this school become?.

I look around watching as students remove jewelry of all sorts, and anything laced with medal or can be used as a weapon.