💐 #2.1 | Ephemerality | ✎

𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖈𝖍 𝖆 𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖒 | to catch a sunbeam | 017

*v v quick disclaimer: the picture next to the song is something i capured so pls don't distribute it without permission from me first pls n thank youuu <3


to see the sunbeams pattern their way through the slabs of wooden floor is a sight i still witness throughout my lifetime.  i will always find myself there despite the startling (warm) heat that would graze through my vertebrae. it is always a need for me to test out the wonders the universe had to offer. would a sunbeam be a gesture of goodwill from the highest sky amongst the seven skies? to find a sunbeam would be to find streaks of iridessa's magic upon me. she was the one who taught me to capture a sunbeam, and let it fall upon me and only me. i used to think that i could clutch on it whenever i like and let go of it. yet, it never came upon me that i was never worth it for something to stay in the grasp of my fingers. but, for this sunbeam, i could—  for a moment, i would lift a finger up and clutch a solid sunbeam. strikes upon strikes of rays would bask me in golden yellow. i felt like i could be yellow to everything and everyone i touched without being brown any longer.  i would feel glorious like the spotlight was on me and only me. the sunbeams were always mine to find and keep. nobody else's. there would only be me to catch a...sunbeam. 

(I wonder if I was like that cat who saw their first sunbeam...)

*･ﾟ ✦ hiya dearies!

hi! again, yessss! it's been tooo long!! way too long!! i hope y'all are well and safe ;) uni caught up to me and i had no time nor energy to post but i have been writing ofc. duh xD today is may 1st (international workers day, shout out to you if you have a job, i'm so proud of everything you do and are doing in this society!), and while I haven't written about it in my little poem turned into prose poetry, it was a free day as uni is closed. it came to me in an instant, why not? seriously, why didn't I post? 

I'm such a lazy person and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to admit but it honestly has taken me this long. I'm going to make an effort to update. Because, I do want to tell this story, trust me. I think being able to do the things I love is such a beautiful thing. Even if I do have to sacrifice an hour of my sleep, I will write. I want my little author dreams to come true. 

I leave you with this question:

qotd:  "why not? seriously, what's stopping you?" for me, it was my laziness. the thing is, yes I don't have the time anymore to post. but i do have the energy. and, I've been thinking a lot about how people say to have a balanced lifestyle. all the big, mega influencers or creators don't have a balanced lifestyle. that's because they love what they do and they are willing to make sacrifices. but it has to be within a limit. like, don't kill yourself bestie. for example, for writing, you don't have to write every. single. day. as long as you get to write a few times a day, that's enough. we are all busy people with what the world asks for us. the takeaway from this is that, sometimes we create our own obstacles. 

I would really like it if we stopped doing that.

Hence, I want you to remove what's stopping you. Find a way. If something is worth it, like writing is for me, you will find a way. I promise. Chase your dreams. You deserve to have them come through <3 you don't have to follow someone's routine of achieving their dream by for example painting every day. no matter what step you take, it will ALWAYS count as long as you're doing something, anything. let this serve as a reminder that it's always better to do something than anything. in order to chase your dreams, do that something instead of sitting around. let's do this, besties. together. i'm in the same boat as you, remember?

how was this chapter? any thoughts about this poem? reaction/emoji's are always welcome :D constructive criticism is always welcome!

p.s i'm doing good!! there have been a few moments where my brain has tricked me into thinking i'm alone but otherwise, my lil group of besties @ uni make every day an adventure to remember ;)

p.s.s there's this video i found on insta of a baby kitten curiously placing a paw on a sunbeam hitting the floor and it is simply the cutest video EVER. perioddd. which inspired this piece :D

～ sylvia ✨

* * * keep breathing, <3 yourself, be + always, something is always possible, stay safe & ily ;)

hope you have a wonderous day/night <3

QOTD:  "The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."

(2023 © Sylvia Mahmood/aureatekey)(All rights reserved)