Made to hate herself

Chapter nineteen

- Katniss PoV -

I heard that the rebels have invaded the Capitol. They managed to save my stupid life even before I visit my father. I got new bandages on my wounds as I sit in my cell. I want to take these off but I know they will just save my life again. I feel pain as they hit me but I supress my screams as before, I do not even flinch when they hit me even though I almost do every single time. After more cuts and whips, punches and kicks Snow walks in.

- Miss Everdeen, the rebels are almost at the presidential mansion. I will be using you as a hostage. If they take a single step closer a peacekeeper that stands near you will be cutting your throat open, you can not survive that. He says.

- I hope they cross the line. I say to him.

He smiles with his regular smile, a snake smile. They take me out of the chair and they begin dragging me outside infront of the mansion. In the distance I can see people coming towards the palace. There was many peacekeepers trying to keep the rebels away but it looked like it was not working. There was also a big wooden cross, I was about to be crucified. Thankfully they was not going to use nails they just tied me to it. They also removed my bandages letting my wounds bleed, this time they do not care if I die. That's nice. Blood drips everywhere and under my feet is a big puddle of blood, it runs down to the gates infront and I am just stuck to this cross. There was a big line painted yellow and behind me I hear Snow's voice. He was talking to the rebels that have now reached the line. A peacekeepers stands on a platform in the air with a knife in his or hers hand. 

- Welcome rebellion, here you can see the start of the rebellion. The girl on fire, Katniss Everdeen. If you step over this line her throat will be cut, that she can not survive. The cross will also automatically fall over when I press this button, that will crush her. He says and I am guessing he holds a button showing it. 

All of the rebels looks skeptic about walking over the line, I take a look at all of the rebels and then I see a familiar face, Peeta. 

- Just go over the line already! You have made it this far, stop that disgusting monster! I yell to them. I get cut on my leg for that comment. 

Rebels start running over the line but Peeta stands still with tears filling his eyes. Before they cut my throat I have time to shout at him.

- You are the reason for my pain! I would have been dead if it was not for you! I yell at him as I feel the knife cutting my throat open. 

Rebels rush and they get the gate open. As the cross and I am about to fall all the rebels stop and they secure my landing, they flip the cross over leaving me alive. I hate this rebellion. I have a hard time breathing and I stop trying as I see some people rushing up to me, it's medics, Peeta and the guy I think was named Gary. Gary holds one of my hands and Peeta holds the other. The cut was not super deep so my vocal cord has survived the cut. Atleast I could talk if I make it out alive, I really hope I don't. My blood was everywhere on the ground and others begin cutting the ropes off. They put me on a stretcher and take me out of the mansion. As I look back I see Snow getting captured, the war had ended.

Minutes later I arrive in a hospital. Doctors comes rushing but so does Peeta and Gary, no wait his name was Gale how could I mix them up. I get put in a room and my heartbeat is being monitored. They give me morflin to cover the pain as they start sow my throat and other cuts. I black out but not only that. My heartbeat goes flat and doctors begin panicking more. They use their gear to try to bring me back to life but it does not work, my eyes close but I can still hear everything going on around me.

- Bring her back! Gale yells at some doctors or so I think. 

- Come on Katniss, stay with us. Peeta says to me. I have lost too much blood to survive, I smile as I know I get to die this time.

As usual I am on the boat, this time I relax my body for the first time in forever. It was an amazing feeling and I know my body did this in the hospital bed.

- Hi dad. I say as his hand gets put on my shoulder as always.

- Hey. He says in a sad voice.

- I can't go back can I? I ask him in a special tone showing that I do not want to go back.

- Only if they fix your cuts and puts blood in your body, but I know that wont happen if you are dead unless a miracle happens. He says.

- So this is were you are until you get a funeral? I ask him.

- No Katniss. You are either here until you are fifty years old, and I am here because I am your guardian angel. So we both will be on this boat until you turn fifty where we both go to a magical place. He says to me.

We take a seat on a bench on the boat and we both sit looking out at the amazing view. I am only eighteen so I will be able to enjoy the views for about thirty two years. I will be sad once I travel to the magical place as I think it will not be as good as this place. I was finally at peace.

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Yes, her crucified looked like when Jesus was crucified but with ropes instead of needles.

Suzanne Collins owns the characters and books, I do not.