Made to hate herself

Chapter thirty seven

- Peeta's PoV -

I just ran out but I stayed out of the window. She warned me, she cares about me. The doctors sedated her before getting new restraints. These were better it looked like. I stay out watching her, hours pass but it doesn't feel like it. She is so peaceful when she sleeps, it doesn't show her struggles. She wakes up and her grey eyes are back. I walk in but she doesn't seem happy to see me, the doctors try to get me out the door but I insist on staying. I was her but it didn't look like her truly. She looked at me in anger and fear, it can't be. It must be her! Please Katniss, snap out of it. I need you. She just looks at me in anger. She doesn't seem to try to attack me but she wont talk to me.

- Hey Katniss. I say. It was silent after it. I just look at her, speaking to herself. She seems to be trying to calm her down. I just look at her.

- Katniss PoV -

He just spoke to me, how does he have audacity to speak to me. I try to calm myself down and I succeed after some time. I just look at him.

- I don't get why a murderer like you get to walk around free whilst I have to be restrained. Oh wait, I know why. It's so it will be easier to kill me. I say in a sarcastic voice.

He doesn't answer he just looks at me in a confused facial expression. 

- No, Katniss. It's not like that. He says.

- Well if you don't need to kill me there is no reason for you to be here, not a single one. I say to him.

- No, there is something that keeps me around. I love you Katniss. He says.

- No, no no. I loved you even when you tried to kill or hurt me. I wont go back to the pain and suffering you caused me. I say to him.

He stays and looks at some doctors that are writing down what is happening. They walk away from me but they stay in the same. I focus my ears to try to listen to their conversation.

- Mr Mellark. We can confirm this is the actual Katniss and the things she says are the things she want to say. Well it isn't her normal self. It's what the Capitol made her to be and to say. This is what we call an episode. She had an episode and she now trusts the mutt. It might be different sometime later but not now. We don't know how long this may last but if we need her to calm down she needs to avoid all of the people she calls mutts. You can't see her, Prim, Haymitch, Gale and Lillian can't see her. We want you to be the person to deliever these news because we are very busy. So now please exit mr Mellark. The doctor says.

- No, I want to stay by her side. I wont leave until she is back to herself. I don't care if she kills me in the process, all I care about is her. He says to the doctor. 

The words he said gets me questioning everything. I feel some words telling me he is a mutt but some says he is the boy we love. I know he sees my confused face. That is when I see a memory playing, it's not something bad. It's us on a beach. It was very sunny and the water was looking beautiful. There was Finnick sitting eating some raw fish and I was too. We take a break and I hear something open. I hear his voice, Ah. This is for you. He says, in response I say Thank you. I look over to my side to see the pearl lying there. I finally snap back into reality.

- Peeta. I say and look at him. I burst into tears and he comes running up to me.

- Katniss? He asks.

- It's me, it's me. I say filled with tears. He runs up and hugs my me so tightly and I do to. 

- I love you Katniss. He says to me.

- I love you too Peeta. No, no you can't. You can't love me! You tried to kill me! I yell out and I see the flashbacks infront of my eyes.

I try to get out of my restraints and he backs away.

- Katniss? He asks.

- Mutt! Mutt!! Mutt!!! I yell out at him.

He goes out and I begin calming down. My heartrate goes sky rocketing up and I have trouble breathing. My beat goes flat and I feel my head getting dizzy and I let out a single sentance.

- No Snow, I don't want to. I say just before my heart stops.

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Suzanne Collins owns the novels and characters, I do not.