Made to hate herself

Chapter forty two

- Katniss PoV -

I lots control and I have started choking Peeta. My eyes are pure darkness. He looks at me in fear aswell and he has accepted death at this point. I wont accept his death. I take myself up to Snow and I beat him so badly even through the pain. He now lies unconscious on the floor and so does his body guard that is me. Peeta has blacked out but I take control of my body. He still has a puls and I stand up with the power of love. I pick Peeta up and I take him on my shoulders. My legs are shaking so much but I manage to make it to the hospital. I see some doctors looking at me. As I carry an unconscious Peeta in my arms. 

- What happened? A doctor asks.

- I lost control, he has a puls and I fought through the pain to save him. Tell this to Peeta please. I told you I would bring you harm. I love you but I don't deserve you. Please move on from me and find someone that isn't a danger to you. I say and they take him out of my arms. 

I collapse to the ground just as they take him out of my arms.

- Are you okay miss Everdeen? The doctor asks.

- Restrain me please, I am about to lose control. I say as I get dragged by a doctor into my old room where I get restrained to my old bed.

I fall back and I feel myself having trouble breathing. Snow puts the body into sleep mode so he can talk to me.

- You were more powerful than I thought. Saving your husband like that is something that I never thought you would do. You have finally convinced me that you are in love with the boy. Snow says.

- You. Really. Suck. Snow. I say between my deep breaths. 

- Yeah, I have heard that plenty of times for many of people. All of them except you are dead from that comment. I can't kill you because I need your body. Snow says.

He takes control again and my body wakes up. I can only watch what happens next. Nothing is in my control.

- Peeta's PoV -

I wake up, suprisingly. My entire throat hurts and Prim comes to calm me down. A doctor comes to me and they take a look at me. I try to speak to them but I don't succeed.

- Katniss is alive. Well Katniss body is alive. She was you know choking you and when you passed out she fought Snow and his "bodyguard" to save you. She used all of the strength she could to get your body to us and she now lies in the same room she did before she left. She has a message I will read out to you now "I told you I would bring you harm. I love you but I don't deserve you. Please move on from me and find someone that isn't a danger to you." The doctor says and I begin tearing up.

It looks like this was the first time Prim also got to hear what she said. Prim hugs me tightly and I hug her back. I try to comfort me but I can't talk. I stand up and I walk towards Katniss room and when I get to the window I see her lying there. Here eyes are a void, truly black. Prim holds my arm tightly as we look at Katniss dark eyes.

Minutes after looking I get the privelage to go inside to talk to her, well the mutt of her. I walk in and her face looks at me but she doesn't seem to try attacking me. She more tries to ignore me, but then she speaks to me.

- Hello there mr Mellark. She says, Snows smile appears on her face again. It really doesn't match her face.

- Why Snow? Why her and not me? I get out of my sore throat.

- Well she was the face of the rebellion and people listened to her so she seemed more important. I never thought you could be the leader without her but then you proved me wrong. She also proved me wrong with fighting through me and my bodyguard to save you, your pathetic useless life. Snow says.

- If I were to die would you free her? I say to him.

- It is an interesting offer but it's a no for me. You are just not enough to satisfy me. Snow says to me.

- What do I have to do Snow. I will do whatever to keep her safe. I say to Snow.

- If you commit suicide or die anytime soon I will take away all pain from the venom forever. Snow says.

- Okay, if that is what it takes. I say and I walk out before her eyes turn grey again.

- Don't do it Peeta. I'll survive, don't worry about me. The only thing making me live is you. Stay with me. She says before her eyes turn black again.

- Always. I say before walking out. 

I see Prim standing and she rushes to hug me as she sees me. Katniss mother Lillian was also standing out there and she looks at me worried.

- You're daugther is still in there we just need something to empower her to fight. Everytime I am near death or think about it she gets out and tells me not to. I am the only thing empowering her at the moment but we need something more. Something that gets her to overpower the mutt. I say to Lillian and Prim.

- What can empower her? Prim asks.

- You Prim, you can empower Katniss more than I can. I say to Prim.

- How am I supposed to empower her? Prim asks.

- I don't know Prim. The only thing I know is her would be empowered if she hurt you but we can't risk that. We can't let you get hurt to bring her out. I say.

- Why not? You got hurt just wanting to be with her why can't I? Prim asks me.

- I can't lose another daughter. I need you Prim. Lillian says.

- Because you have suffered enough Prim. We will get her out in another way. I say to her.

- You have suffered more than me Peeta. Prim says back.

- Yeah but if Katniss doesn't come back then I have nothing to live for. You have a family and loads of friends. You are an extremly talented doctor and you need to live your life. I say to her.

- But... She begins.

- No buts Prim, no butts. Lillian says.

She hugs me tightly and I hug her back. 

- I'm sorry Prim, I'm so sorry for you. I say to her before we all walk back to the mansion. The others don't know what happened yet so it will be a suprise for them. Not a good one really. The only good news are that Katniss is still in there and she can fight if she is empowered by something or someone.

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Suzanne Collins owns the novels and characters, I do not.