Happily Never After

Part 14

Chapter 13

Hiccup woke up one morning with a yawn and stretch. His head was still fuzzy and his eyes bleary but when his hand made contact with the cold side of the bed Astrid usually laid on he frowned. Today was a Saturday, meaning Astrid usually slept in while he took care of the kids. For her to be up before him... well that was odd.

Hiccup quickly washed his face and then padded down the stairs to see Astrid having Nuffink in his baby rocker on the kitchen island while Zephyr was in a high chair eating breakfast... or at least that had been the plan. Breakfast was currently in Astrid's hair and on her face.

"Zephyr, for the love of Thor eat your mashed papaya. Daddy went to the Farmers market, especially for it," Astrid begged but her daughter had other plans and squished her tiny hands in the mush and chucked it at her mother. This elicited a laugh from Hiccup and Astrid whipped around to find her shirtless partner standing near the stairs watching the whole exchange.

"For the record, I had no idea I'd be wearing breakfast today," Astrid grumbled.

"I don't get it. She loved papaya last week,"

"You know how kids can be fuzzy eaters." Hiccup commented. "Have you tried the choo-choo?"

"I've tried the choo-choo, the airplane, and cowboy," She muttered.

"Well, look on the bright side," Hiccup replied. "More papaya for us."

"Hardy-Har-Har," Astrid rolled her eyes before elbowing Hiccup in the side. "I might as well try one of the cereals. Maybe she'd eat those."

"I can do it. Maybe you should wash that fruit out of your hair," Hiccup suggested just as their front door was opened, and in walked Snotlout decked out in a tunic and pants with fur boots while sporting a Viking helmet, fur cape, and axe.

"Snotlout this takes raiding our fridge to a whole new level," Hiccup commented upon seeing his cousin. "This wasn't why I gave you an emergency key,"

"Snot! Snot! Snot! Oi! Oi! Oi!" Zephyr chanted from her high chair upon seeing her uncle. Snotlout puffed out his chest while her parents raised their brows in shock.

"The hell have you been teaching our daughter?!" Astrid questioned as she looked between the toddler and her uncle Snot.

"Never mind that cuz! You gotta hear this... I found my soulmate!!" Snotlut exclaimed.

"Wow, congrats Snotlout!" Hiccup and Astrid uttered.

"Though that doesn't explain why my cousin is dressed as a Viking in our living room."

"Of course it does!" Snotlout uttered as if it was an everyday occurrence. "Remember, I told you my fabulous self volunteered for the Viking fair this weekend," Snotlout answered. "Well, I was on the subway to help set up for the fair when this thief steals this young woman's purse on the platform. He didn't get far I tell ya. All-cause yours truly hurled Daisy at his head."

"Who's Daisy?" Astrid queried. Here Snotlout held up his axe and proudly boasted about it.

"Snotlout..."

"Yes, Hiccup,"

"The purse snatcher wasn't your soulmate right?"

"What? No!" Snotlout looked aghast. "One of the cops that arrested him was,"

"I can't wait for you guys to meet. You'll love him!"

Neither Hiccup nor Astrid batted much of an eye when Snotlout mentioned a 'him'. He'd come out to the family as bi two years ago. No one really cared except for that one cranky uncle that no one really liked.

"That's basically all the news I have. I got to go now!! I'm going to be in the dunk tank today!" Snotlout uttered and raced back out the door. Just as quickly as Hiccp's cousin arrived he'd gone.

"Well that was...," Astrid blinked. It was a lot for early Saturday morning. It wasn't even 8 AM yet either. "I'm very happy he's found his mate,"

"Indeed," Hiccup nodded "You know.... Astrid, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I don't know Hiccup, are we taking over the world today?" Astrid quipped.

Hiccup rolled his eyes at Astrid's reference but smiled. "Actually I was thinking we should pay this Viking fair a visit. You know, take the kids out a bit, do some axe throwing, eat some mutton...."

"You just want to have a go at Snotlout's dunk tank don't you?"

"Yes," Hiccup deadpanned while Astrid shot him 'that' look. She thought for a bit and then nodded.

"See! You also had the same idea I did when Snot said dunk tank," Hiccup grinned.

"At least I was less blatant about it!" she shot back.

Hiccup pecked Astrid on the cheek. "Milady should probably get the fruit out of her hair lest several ants find her enticing," He joked. It earned him another elbow.

"Fine... only because I don't want ants," Astrid uttered. "What are we even going to wear? The fair starts at ten."

"Well, I do still have last year's Halloween costume in our closet. And you also still have your Princess Fiona dress," He suggested which caused Astrid to giggle. "Just leave the Shrek mask at home hun,"

By the time the couple had gotten ready and to the fair it was nearly eleven. "I don't remember these leather pants being this tight," Hiccup whispered to Astrid after they had parked. He was 'adjusting' his pants before getting the two-seater stroller out of the back. Zephyr looked excited by the crowd while Nuffink actually napped the whole car ride over.

Astrid was dressed in her green Medival dress, forgoing the crown and red hair while Hiccup was sporting his Shrek costume minus the mask and green skin. They fit in pretty well with the rest of the crowd and as they entered the event space they could already see several fire breathers giving a show near the entrance.

The couple and their children had lots of fun. They took breaks when Nuffink was getting a bit fussy or needed a changing but other than that the afternoon was going well. Astrid even got to win the big prize at the axe-throwing stand. A giant plushie Viking helmet, which Hiccup had strapped to his back now as they continued walking. Astrid laughed because Hiccup made a face that told her exactly what he knew she was going to do with that plush.

She knew her decorating sense might need some work but the plushie Viking helmet would look great on the living room couch. At least in her opinion.

"I think that's Snotlout's stall at the corner," Hiccup commented, pointing slightly in that direction. Astrid's focus however was elsewhere when just as Hiccup spoke she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around slightly and her eyes widened. Hiccup too stopped upon not receiving a response from Astrid. He turned to look where she was looking and his brows shot through the roof.

"What is he doing here?!" Hiccup's voice got cold as he instinctively moved the stroller with the kids behind him. Astrid too was frowning. Her eyes narrowed at the unwelcome figure standing before them.

"Hello, Astrid," The man said jovially, completely oblivious to the cold stares he was receiving and ignoring Hiccup as if he didn't exist.

"Eret, what in Thor's wedding dress are you doing out of prison?!"