Sometimes I feel like a side character in everybody's else love stories.
When I feel like there's something sparkling between me and someone, I discover that they have somebody else with whom they are already talking to in a more serious level.
I would normally just wave this crush out, saying that it was not that deep anyway.
But I am tired of waving it out.
I want to be the person in a relationship instead of the friend who's always third wheeling.
Shit, a year ago I was writing about waiting for my special somebody, about how I would wait forever if necessary.
But I am tired of waiting.
Today I was talking to someone who I really thought could be my person, and he blushed talking about someone else.
I would have thrown out all my delusional expectations if we hadn't started talking about books. I swear I could've convinced myself we had nothing in common and how crazy I was for ever thinking it could work, but moment we said "I love Greek mythology books" I was done.
Yes, we would have worked out. And I knew that even before we started talking about every other book I've ever read.
And again, I am honestly tired of convincing myself that "it wouldn't work".
Today I am going out with my friends, which include this man and the woman that he's talking to. We're going to the movies, I'll probably be seating in between my two best friends, I'll have a good time, get scared by the movie and laugh my ass off. Then I'll go back home, alone, like every single day.
And then I will keep living my life, day after day, hoping to someday meet the one who will make my days better.
Is this as depressing as it sounds to me? God, I feel like this is my pms talking.
Shit, I just want somebody to love me, as beautifully said by Freddie Mercury.
May/23
