Let me love you like you never did || raeda The Owl House

5. 'Stressed out'

1am

I woke up all shaking after a nightmare. I looked at Raine to make sure I hadn't woken them up. I turned on the night lamp and stood up. I left the room and turned on the normal lights on the hallway. I headed to the kitchen to get some water. I've got a glass of water and drank it. I looked at the knife that was laying on the kitchen table. Just one more time. The voices in my head started shouting. I promised Raine that I won't hurt myself. But it feels... just right. I placed the glass on the table and took the knife. I looked at my bandaged wrist. I wanted to unfold the bandages. But I promised. My head was shouting louder than my heart and I unwrapped the bandages. I took the knife and i attached in to the skin. Just. One. Cut. I was fighting myself but brain won. I made the first cut. Then second. Then third. After one minute my hand was bleeding badly. It hurts. So much. But that's okay. I wrapped the bandages and cleaned the knife to make sure Raine won't suspect anything. I turned off the lights and came back to the room. As I closed the door Raine groaned.

- 'E-eda? What were you doing It's the middle of the night.'
They said and yawned. After a few seconds they looked at my wrist suspiciously.

- 'I woke up because, I was thirsty so I went to the kitchen.'
I said nervously. I wasn't lying.

- 'are you sure?'
They asked.

- 'yes I am.'
I said.

- 'I don't believe the "I woke up because, I was thirsty" part. You look like you just ran a maraton. Did you had a nightmare?'
They asked. How did they know? Am I really that bad actor?

- 'kinda.'
I didn't want to lie to them.

- 'come here. Eda. Why didn't you tell me after you woke up?'
They asked me.

- 'because i didn't want to wake you up. Now go to sleep.'
I said and went back to bed.

They yawned and and went back to sleep. So did I.

Morning

I heard the alarm. I didn't have motivation to do anything. Raine were already up.

- 'Eda do you feel like coming to school or not?'
They asked.

- 'not really. I hate everything now. Except you. And Darius and Lilith. I'm going to stay here.'
I said.

They hugged me and left to go to college.

Raines pov.

I left Eda home alone. I hope she won't hurt herself. After college I'm going to run to her. I feel so bad for her. She feels like it's her fault. I arrived at the place and looked for Darius. After searching i finally found him.

- 'Heyy Darius! How are you?'
I ran up to him.

- 'great. But also normal. I'm bored.'
He anwsered.

- 'hey where is Eda? I thought that she isn't sick anymore?'
He asked curious.

- 'oh Eda... her dad died. And she feels responsible about it.'
I said with a shaky voice. Darius was shocked.

- 'Oh... tell her that i feel bad for her. It's kinda sad.'
He said. Kinda. She literally cut herself yesterday.

I headed to the first period. Time passed by and I finished studying for today. I instantly looked at the clock. 3pm. Her favourite cafe is still open so I can buy her some cookies. I ran to the cafe and bought them. After that I ran to our apartment. I was worried that Eda has done something to herself.

Edas pov.

I heard the door opening. I was in the middle of panic attack. Not now Raine. Or now. I need someone.