Mental.

Chapter 11

I spot Logan and River at the back of the lunch room, waving their hands up high and calling for me. I wave back and run over as fast as I can.

"Hey, Logan. Hey, River."

"Sup!" says River.

"I'm starving! Did you guys bring lunch or are you buying food here?" Logan asks.

"Oh, I brought my own food. My parents don't trust the school food for some reason," I respond.

"Good for them! The food here sucks ass!" River says.

"Facts! Lucky me, I don't have a choice. My parents think it's unnecessary to stress about having lunch for me to bring when I can just buy it here."

"Oof, that sucks, Logan. Have you ever told your parents that you don't like the food?"

"Yep. They say that there are plenty of options and that I can 100% find at least one thing that I like. I hate to admit it, but they were partially right. Only partially because I've found one thing that I can tolerate-not like-but tolerate:the grilled cheese. It gets sooo boring, though. I hate having the same stupid grilled cheese for lunch every day!!!" River and I can't hold in laughing at Logan's exaggeration.

"Hey, it's not funny! You try eating the same thing everyday!"

"Dude, I saw the grilled cheese when you got it yesterday, and I'd do anything to have that!" I say.

Logan shakes her head with a little smile.

"Well, guys, let me go get my stupid grilled cheese so I don't starve." River and I laugh again as she runs off.

I feel pretty awkward sitting alone with River, considering I don't know them as well as Logan. I can somehow tell that he-ur, uh, they-feel the same way.

"So, how do you like your teachers?" River says, trying to break the awkwardness.

"They're pretty good. Although I feel like Mrs. Duquette doesn't like me for some reason. Or any of the kids, for that matter."

"What makes you think she doesn't like you?"

"She just seems like a moody and unfriendly person. She never really smiles, and she gets so annoyed at kids if they're late to class, even by just a few minutes."

"Yeah, it seems like she's just strict and not very friendly. There are lots of teachers like that, it's normal."

"Normal?!"

"Yep. But you want to know something? A lot of times they are still very good teachers."

"Huh?! What do you mean? That doesn't sound very 'good' to me."

"What I mean is that they may not be the most sweet and friendly, but they really do care about the students. They want their students to succeed, which is sometimes why they push them so hard. Sometimes kids need that kind of teacher."

"That makes a little more sense."

"Yeah, it's okay if you don't completely get it. It kind of is hard to understand, now that I think about it."

After a few minutes, I realize it's taken Logan a pretty long time to get her food.

"Hey, it's been a long time since Logan went to get her grilled cheese, should we go check on her?"

"Yeah, it has been a while." But just as we're getting up, we see Logan running back.

"Sorry, guys, the line took forever."

"It's okay," I say.

"Oh, Brooklyn, by the way," River says, looking at Logan as if they're sending some sort of signal, "I wanted to talk to you about something." Now Logan and River are both looking back and forth at me and each other, like they're upset about something.

Oh no! Did I do something? Am I about to lose my only friends here?

WHAT TIME IS IT!!!

"We just..." Logan starts. My heart is pounding, and I need to know the time RIGHT NOW!!!

"Logan told me about what happened on the first day of school."

"Oh, um, yeah," I say as I feel my heart punching my chest. I should've known in the first place, Logan and River were just trying to be nice to the new kid, but deep down they think I'm weird. WHAT TIME IS IT!!!

"I... I know, I'm really weird. It's fine, you don't have to fake it anymore. I'll just go sit by myself."

As I start to gather my things, Logan holds up her hand.

"No, no, no. Brooklyn, we don't think you're weird at all. We're just worried for you, and we wanted to make sure you're okay. I told River because I was sure they would want to help." My brain stops racing with emotion in a split second.

"R-really?"

"Of course! We just want to help!" River says.

And then, all of a sudden, with no time to think about what I'm doing, I pull River and Logan into my arms.

"You guys are the best! I forgot how relieving it feels to be... accepted," I say, still holding them tight.

"That's what friends do. They accept each other," Logan says as the hug slowly ends.

"Yeah, and I hope you know you can tell us anything."

"I have an idea! What if we pinky promise that we will never ever judge each other or keep secrets," Logan says.

"Sounds good to me!" River says.

"Yeah. I like that," I say.

We put our pinkies in the middle and hook them together.

"That felt really good," I say.

"Yeah, it did," River says, "and by the way, Brooklyn, I know exactly how it feels to not be accepted. It's the worst, I know from experience. I'm sorry you had to feel that way, even though it was just a misunderstanding."

"Thanks. But I'm sorry that it happened to you! What were you not accepted for?" River turns away and then looks down at the ground. They're suddenly very upset. Logan puts her arm around River, and I can tell from the look on her face that she knows what happened.

"C-can we talk about it later?" I know how they feel; I don't want to talk about my issues with the attacks right now either.

"Of course. I'm so sorry I upset you. I know how you feel."

Before River can respond, the bell rings, and the three of us split up to head to seventh period.

Is it possible to feel completely relieved and very stressed at the same time?