Be Mine, Always

chapter twenty five

Melody’s POV~ Present Day

        The information that has been dumped on me within the last twenty four hours is more than a little jarring. The drive to my house has my hands trembling on the steering wheel and arriving home to put on clothes for a run in the dark, doesn’t help matters. 

        Nothing feels normal anymore. 

        Everything I once thought about my life has changed with one conversation. For six years I thought Xander left me like I was nothing. Almost four years ago I thought he got into fights, uncaring of the consequences it would reap between us. I’ve thought him a criminal. 

        Tears beg to be released and my hands shake so bad, my keys rattle in my hands as I lock the door behind me. 

        The mysterious calls, the ominous checks, meeting with Evan, it was all a ploy to bring down his father. He has chosen me every step of the way and I left him. My heart aches at the deceit and lost time. If I could go back, I would. We lost so much time together because I couldn’t deal with him being in prison. What kind of girlfriend does that? 

        Xander wouldn’t agree that it was shitty, but right now, I feel sick with guilt. 

        This run is much needed. After the conversation with Xander’s FBI associates, we ate lunch from the hospital cafeteria and Xander spent a good portion of our alone time making naughty jokes and trying to get me to let him cop a feel of my breasts. 

        The playful nature soothed my aching momentarily and it made me forget about everything. Now that I’m alone, I realize I am thankful for this time, to gather my thoughts and calm my tumultuous emotions. It won’t last long, but I am grateful for any time to clear my mind that I can get. 

        For years, I haven’t dared to dream of a future. Now that things are different, I think of everything Xander and I once hoped for. Him a carpenter, me a writer. The house with a basement we could turn into a hobby room, he for his work out equipment and me for my novels. The house that would be full of love and fond memories. I can see it all laid before me, I just have to get back to Xander and find my happily ever after. 

        I can still remember the very first day I met him.

        “Mom, I can’t go,” I said, standing in the doorway of our new house. 

        I have never moved schools before, much less states. I thought since I’d made it this far in life having never moved, it would be a non issue. Boy was I wrong. 

        My mom got relocated to a neighboring state, meaning I have to start all over again. I didn’t have friends back in Illinois, but it was easy there. I knew everyone in my class and they knew me. Even if it was on a superficial level. How was I going to adjust to a new school? 

        High school no less. 

        My heart pounded in my chest and my head started to feel light headed.

        My mother shook her head, smiling sadly. “Come on, it’s going to be fine. You’ll make new friends.” 

        “I don’t want new friends,” I grumbled. I didn’t want any friends at all. As much as I enjoyed them, it was too hard to decipher interactions with them and by the time I figured it out I just felt stupid. It was easier when no one noticed me. 

        “Go on, school starts soon.” She gave me a gentle shove and I started the short walk to school. 

        Everyone was going to stare at me. It was a small town and the few times I went with my mom to the grocery this summer, the teenagers threw odd and calculating looks my way. It was uncomfortable to say the least.