Oh past Audrey was really in her head wasn't she? If only she had known the wonders of the laws of attraction and you know.. focusing on the negatives much much less. I'm working progress myself though.
Apologies for the last chapter, one would expect it to be more hopeful by the point. But back in 2014, I was still processing my Narcolepsy and grieving for my past self blah blah. I didn't think it was possible for someone to love me as I was, since I didn't either. But now it's nearly 9 years since I wrote that. A lot has happened.
Did Audrey get a boyfriend? Yes she did, not long after writing that entry, thanks to university and low self esteem! It was rose tinted glasses for sure, threw my virginity away, trauma, had good times, discovered that I actually am quite sexy and began to pursue my own creative stuff. Since the first two years of uni, was spent being in love, trying to get over love and actually moving on.
It felt like nobody understood. I was alone; my friends would nod and sympathise, but no one knew what to say. I couldn't blame them. There was nothing else anyone could do. In my mind, I had already accepted that I wouldn't cope at university, no one would ever want to date me, and I would feel like this for the rest of my life. I was in quite a dark place and could see any hope for the future.
Until I found a book called Wide Awake and Dreaming by Julie Flygare. For the first time, I had discovered someone with narcolepsy who persevered and went on to be successful. Also, not longer after, I discovered there was an online community on Tumblr, where others would share experiences and advice. For the first time in three years I didn't feel alone.
Years later, I went on to go to a narcolepsy conference, which I had put off for a while, due to feeling like an outsider for a while. It was my first ever one, and I was happy to make friends. It felt reassuring be in a room with people who all have had similar experiences.
I even graduated from university, had multiples relationships, and even got a job—part-time, of course.
I have grown beyond my narcolepsy. I no longer let it hold me down like shackles. I no longer see narcolepsy as a disadvantage.
It's helped me be a more empathic person to others who have their own invisible illnesses, and to raise awareness and educate those who are not familar with it.
I won't let narcolepsy stop me from living my life. I just have to work around it and carry on.
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FEELS: The College Diaries
Sachbücher'I had to work ten times as hard as everyone else... And that was just trying to seem as normal as everyone else.' FEELS. Audrey has A LOT of them. Audrey was never always a normal girl, she daydreamed of time traveling aliens to take her away and w...
