FEELS: The College Diaries

Chapter Eight - Online Date

Internet dating is a place for people who have joined for three of the main reasons, 1. Sex, 2. Bored, 3. True love.

I know what you're going to think, "Oh no Audrey joined a dating site, she's hit rock bottom" or like my friend Lena said, "Are you really that desperate?" I like to answer yes. Well no... Okay sort of.

I joined one before my exams, which was quite a distracting; I began to talking to a boy who lived outside of London called Ben who was 19. We were talking everyday for a month, until one day we ran out of stuff to talk about and he never spoke to me again.

I deleted my account and promised never to step on dating website territory again.... Until a few weeks ago, where I wasn't really expecting to get anywhere. Also I still felt quite weary, since Ben was so nice then soon lost interest in me.

So when I rejoined the dating site world, I didn't ever expect to get anywhere since I never did in the real world and the virtual world, it was the typical, 'oh do you like (insert favourite interest) that? I like that too!' or 'wow you're pretty' or 'hi.'

So when I received a message from a guy called Alan, I was quite interested in what it said. He said he liked song writing too and wondered if we wanted to write a song based off each other's profiles. I agreed as I never tried or was asked to do anything like this before, my song was a crap recording of what I came up with in under 30 minutes.

When he sent me the link for his sound, I leaned back on my bed with my headphones in dreading on what it will be like, if it was about me it was going to be awkward. But then I heard a guitar playing and this voice with such lyrical genius sang to my ears. Alan's song was nothing like I ever heard before, it was heart warming.

"I... I feel a live Audrey95..." He sung in a country sounding style.

I raised my eyebrow as I read the title of the song on my laptop screen. Not long after I erupted into a giddy laughter, since he called the song 'Interested'.

Every day we messaged each other every day. Alan only lived in the next city; I learnt that this guy wasn't only a wonderful musician and illustrator, but he also liked a lot the Same things that I loved, from Les Miserable's to Disney movies. That's all I've ever wanted, to find someone who liked Disney films if not, like many others I spoke to, it's a total turn off. He didn't seem to speak down to me, we had nice flowing conversations and we both shared the same frustrations and humour.

We had a running joke about Adele killing people if they stole their converse, since according to Alan the only way to be a professional musician is to wear converse and a checked shirt. I could really go into detail about it, but it would make no sense to anyone else. We found it funny anyway, so that's all that's important.

I never intended to tell any of my family but after I listened to the song, I couldn't remove the goofy smile on my face. So they soon suspected something.

Penny kept saying how it was probably a perverted old man speaking to me and how boys only want one thing. My mum said the usual be careful and don't tell him too much, also the fact that it would be awkward since he was 6 years old than me. 'WHAT?!' My fellow reader may ask, yes he is 23 years old and turning 24 on New year's eve, whilst I'm yet to turn 18 in December.

My mum has slowly came round, saying how there were big age gaps between many of my relatives. But I use to worry about the age gap, but I don't feel there is one when we speak. Also he said he didn't careless.

Almost two weeks into talking to him every day, I just couldn't get him out of my mind... It's crazy isn't it? But I wonder if that's what happens when you love someone, the rules and expectations of everyone else get thrown aside. For a boy who is 6 years older than me, whom I only spoken to for less than a month, I felt as if knew me, better than anyone I've known. I actually really I like him. Yet again, I may reflect back on this experience and laugh at how it turned out, if bad of course. Which I hoped not.