FEELS: The College Diaries

Chapter Ten - Narcolepsy Holiday

The week that followed was a restless one. My family were getting ready to go to Plymouth for a week on holiday, also it happened to be where Penny was starting university in mid September.

So basically an excuse to see where she was going to be living for the next three years and make a holiday out of it. But wheat I seen in pictures it seemed nice, it in Cornwall so the skies would be blue and the majority of the beaches could easily be mistaken for abroad.

The phone rang in the middle of the night, I always assume when phones ring when I'm half awake that it was just in my imagination, since a lot things seem to be when I'm sleepy. The next morning, I could hear my dad playing back the answer machine to find my Nan's wheezy voice speaking.

"Oh... You left your game here." She uttered referring to my dad.

I couldn't believe it; she rang while we were all asleep to tell us that? This wasn't the first time this happened, oh no it had happened two times previously too. She thought it was a great time to call at five in the morning. FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. We always assume when somebody rings in the early hours of the morning, somebody had died or a tragic event has occurred. No, her boiler wasn't working. That was it.

She was slowly becoming slightly what others would call not normal. Over the last two years, her memory had worsened and she began doing silly things, such as forgetting that food had gone out of date or what day it was.

"It's Sunday not Monday mum!!" My dad would yell than the phone, we all laughed in the background but deep down we all knew she wasn't herself.

Ever since we were little we went to her house every two weeks on a Sunday, but we no longer visited her as much now because she couldn't cook properly and the house was starting to smell, she was having baths less and less which meant the place didn't smell any better.

I could sense everything was slowly not getting any better, my dad and everyone else was seemed to be ignoring the fact that was woman was ill because they had grown to accept this was the way she was now.

I was worried of course, yet I wasn't upset. Maybe if I was closer to her I would be screaming and begging, or even helping her myself. I was frustrated with the fact that she's alive and breathing, but the people who are meant to care about her the most don't seem to be too bothered to help.

It made me feel sorry for her, it shows that when it comes down to it who really is there for her at the end of the day, which is only a few people. It is scary in some way. She had upset quite a few people in the family, said horrible things and not always been the kindest of people. Was this some way their payback? I didn't completely understand, people are busy, got their own lives.

Not everyone has time to look after an elderly lady. I wondered if she was different, held her tongue more, acted in more of a sensible manner... Would her health be improved at all? I know it's terrible to think like this, yet I got this feeling that if my Nan got rushed into hospital or if anything happened to her, all the sudden my dad and my uncles would be there. It'll be too late, and then they'll regret not doing anything sooner. That's not what I wish for, not in a million years. I just really don't want to see my father cry again.

****

My eyes began to feel heavy once again as I sat over my desk drawing. I went to lie down on my bed and wrapped myself up in my blanket. I had set my phone alarm to wake me up at half 6, it was almost 6 o'clock and didn't want to end up asleep for 3 hours again.

It was only less than half hour when I awoken, half awake I glanced over at a woman children's presenter who stood by my keyboard. It looked as if she putting on a show, yet I was the only person there and I couldn't remember allowing her to come in.