Don't Deserve You (GxG)

Eight

EVELYN
My body naturally woke up around 6:30 making me slightly panic for a second as I opened my eyes and didn't recognize my surroundings.

My head turned to the right realizing I was in Blake's bed and she was still out like a light. Her face looked so peaceful and calm as she quietly breathed in and out in her quiet slumber. Her lips were parted slightly and her hair a bit frizzy covering her pillow but she looked angelic. I have taught many people over the years and gone out with lots of woman but something about Blake just made her different than all of them. She was tough but also kind and she had this witty humor that made you want to laugh even when you knew you shouldn't. She was confident but always humble, which only made the appeal for her so much stronger, and something I especially admired was that she was always honest.

Oh my god Evelyn. I squashed my gawking quickly getting out of bed and grabbing my clothes. She's my student and I'm married.

I'm such a fucking pervert.

I quietly shut her door walking over to my apartment across the hall.

My hand hovered over the handle hoping Charlotte had by some miracle already left for work or something and I wouldn't have to see her.

My feet quietly patted along the wooden tiles as I realized the bedroom door was wide open and empty.

Hallelujah.

I felt a heavy weight on my chest as I looked at the empty bed knowing these weren't normal thoughts to have in a marriage. What kind of wife wishes her partner was gone so I wouldn't have to talk to her. I'm such a monster.

Guilt infiltrated my chest knowing I had slept in Blake's bed last night. Trying to fix my problems with more complicated situations isn't heathy Evelyn.

I wiped a stray tear taking a deep breath knowing I had a job to full-fill in less than an hour. I took too much pride in teaching to stand in front of my classes and look like a weeping mess, especially when she was watching amongst the crowd.

BLAKE
My alarm blared through my ears already feeling the nausea take over my body. I rolled over seeing that the other half of my bed was in fact empty. Of course she had already left considering she had a class to teach in 20 minutes.

I laid in bed for another five debating whether I should go to class or not, but then remembering I'm trying to channel my inner "Elle Woods" this year I got up tossing on a hoodie and calling it a day.

I subtly snuck in through the back door of class taking my usual seat as quietly as possible. My eyes looked down at the front and I suddenly felt odd knowing the woman who was now teaching my lecture had slept in my bed last night.

It was just like a sleepover. Stop overthinking everything.

Because I was late to my lecture the class thankfully went by fast today and I couldn't wait to go back home and sleep off my hangover.

"Ms. Summers" I heard Mrs. Claire call my name as I stopped in my tracks waiting behind. My palms felt sweaty with nerves and I think the blood drained from my face as I wondered what she had to say.

I awkwardly stood near her desk waiting for everyone else to leave before she began talking.

"I just wanted to say thanks for last night. I know I didn't stick around this morning but it just felt..." The end of her sentence trailed off as we both knew the answer.

"Weird" I finished her sentence as she gave me a tight lip smile.

"Yeah, it felt weird."

There was a thick silence in the air the both of us not really sure what to talk about.

"Have you sorted things out with Charlotte yet?" I watched her fiddle with a pen at her desk as I could sense the question was a sore spot. "Uh no, not exactly. But I'm sure we'll get through it."

"Sure" I mumbled. I think the both of us knew her words were a lie but I also knew she wasn't ready to accept that fate. We fell into an awkward silence and I glanced over at the exit wondering if maybe it was my cue to leave. "We'll I don't know about you but I'm going back home and sleeping off the hangover from yesterday."

She laughed nodding her head in agreement.

I was kinda jealous by the fact she probably had 2x the amount of alcohol I did last night and yet she still looked more flawless and put together than I'll ever be. Unlike her I felt homeless and grungy on both the inside and outside.

"Bye Blake" her voice was soft and delicate as I tried to shake any unwanted emotions away.

~
I had decided to walk around the city and take my mind off of the lady who shall not be spoken of.

I walked into clothing stores, bagel and pizza shops, a cute library even though I haven't picked up a book in ages and I walked through a park with lots of little kids screaming and crying; thankfully reminding me of why I never wanted kids.

I had established long ago that I wanted to travel and explore the world, not just sit in a dingy empty house and be a housewife all day. The thought of me even doing any act such as that made me want to bang my head into a metal pole. I walked over to my door stopping my actions of unlocking it after noticing a flyer taped to the front.

A god damn apartment party.

What kind of place has apartment parties, is that even a thing? I crumpled the paper in my hands tossing it across the hall knowing I have no interest in attending that shit.

EVELYN
"Did you know there's a party on Friday for all the neighbours?" Charlotte was sadly back home and we were currently sitting eating the Italian dinner she made me as an apology.

"Yeah I saw the flyer this morning, kinda weird if you ask me. I didn't even know those existed." I took a bite of pasta trying to put to rest any unsettling thoughts I had about our marriage.

"We'll I have no interest in going it sounds stupid." Charlotte put the flyer down taking a sip of her wine with a stuck up look on her face.

Me being the stubborn person I am decided I wanted to just disagree with her even though I didn't want to go either. "I don't know I think it sounds kinda fun I might go."

Charlotte looked up at me with a concerned expression on her face. "Since when do you like parties?"

"Please I've always liked parties you've just never been around to notice."

That was actually such a false statement but I wasn't gonna give her the satisfaction of me agreeing with her.

"Fine go to it if you want, I'll just stay at work late that day."

I didn't respond and instead finished off my glass of wine telling her I've lost my appetite and was gonna call it a night.

Charlotte came to bed an hour later and I still hadn't fallen asleep, too many thoughts on my mind.

"You awake still?" Her voice carried through the large quiet room. I debated on saying something to her or just fake asleep but there was probably no point in lying. "Mhm" I opened my eyes hoping I wouldn't regret this.

"What's on your mind baby?" She used a softer tone than she had in a while turning over to face me.

"I don't know just not tired I guess" I sighed laying on my back and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Maybe you just have too much energy." She husked kissing my cheek as she ducked under the covers.

I felt her hand run up my leg and I debated whether I wanted this. However as soon as her hand touched me I let my mind wander and my lust take over.

"Hmm don't stop" I moaned knowing it had been a while and I wanted sex more than I thought. This wasn't wrong, she was my wife and this is normal couple behavior. Except maybe it wasn't if I had to constantly remind myself of it.