Of The Solstice

In the storm

After the meeting, Regulus walked with me back to my common room. He was silent until we reached the portrait.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

I whispered the password and grabbed the door, looking back at him. "No, I'm not," I said sharply. "I need some time alone to process this. I'll see you later." Without waiting for a response, I walked in and slammed the door behind me.

I walked into the common room, James was passed out on the couch, but Sirius was awake and sitting in the chair.

"Where have you been?" he asked with an accusatory tone.

"Just out," I said softly as I walked straight to the base of the stairs to my dorm.

Sirius jumped up and beat me to the entrance. "You'll have to be more specific than that," he said, leaning his arm on the frame.

"Sirius, I'm not in the mood," I said, attempting to push past him. However, he stood his ground in front of me.

"Calista, I saw you apparate away with him," he spoke in a hushed tone.

"So what?" I replied sharply. "Now you are following me?"

"He's a bloody Death Eater, Calista!" Sirius' voice rose with frustration.

"I'm not doing this right now," I say firmly as I push past him and start climbing the stairs. He follows closely behind.

"Please, Buggy," he pleads.

"Don't 'Buggy' me, Sirius," I reply, my tone still firm.

Sirius reaches out to grab my arm, but I quickly pull away.

"Cali, please talk to me," he says, desperation clear in his voice. "You keep shutting me out."

I turn to him, frustration boiling inside me. "What do you want me to say, Sirius? That I was out with a Death Eater? That I'm a monster like the rest of them?" My voice breaks as tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

He tilts his head slightly, "What do you mean, like the rest of them?" He asks.

I ignore his question, and walk to my door. He grabs my wrist and spins me around to face him, "Calista, what did you do?" he demands.

I jerk my hand back, "Sirius, I want to go to bed." I say coldly.

"Can I stay with you?" He asks desperately.

"I want to be alone." I open the door and step inside, closing it right behind me.

Sirius sighed heavily and walked away. I leaned against the door, taking a deep breath to steady my racing heart. I know Sirius is just worried about me, but I can't handle him right now.

I change into my pajamas and crawl into bed, I toss and turn for what feels like hours before finally succumbing to exhaustion and drifting off into an uneasy sleep.

~

I wake up in a panic, my heart racing as I gasp for air. Sitting up in bed, I try to steady my breathing and wipe the sweat from my forehead. I run my hands through my hair, pulling it back into a messy bun as I try to calm down.

I got out of the bed and changed into a sweater and some sweatpants. After wiping my face again, I walked down to the common room.

As I approached James and Sirius, who were in the same seats as the night before, James gave me a concerned look. "Bugs, are you okay?" he asked, scanning me from head to toe.

Sirius turned to me, his expression also showing concern. "What happened?" he asked.

I sat down next to James and sighed, "I just didn't sleep well," I said quietly.

"You should have come and gotten one of us," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair.

"That kind of defeats the purpose of wanting to be alone," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Touché," Sirius said, he cleared his throat "So where did you go last night?"

I looked over at James and back to Sirius, "Are we still going on about this?" I ask, a hint of annoyance in my voice.

"Pads, just let it go," James let out with a sigh, attempting to diffuse the tension.

Sirius stood up abruptly, his face filled with frustration as he walked to me. "Tell me what happened, or I'm done trying to protect you," he stated, his tone laced with anger.

I felt my own anger rising, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't need your fucking protection," I snapped.

James interjected, his voice calm but firm. "Guys,  Please let sit down and talk this out."

Sirius clenched his fists, his anger evident. "No, James." Sirius grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled my sleeve up. "She went to a meeting last night."

James stood up, his expression filled with concern. "Is he telling the truth?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly.

Sirius caught me off guard, and I instinctively pulled my wrist away from him. Remus walked down the stairs and into the common room, sensing the tension in the air.

I looked at James, my voice trembling. "Yes, but there's more to it..."

Sirius quickly interrupted me, his rage boiling over. "You fucking traitor!" he yelled. "Marlene was just murdered, and you joined them?!" He screamed, his anger consuming him. He grabbed my shoulders forcefully, pushing me to the floor, and pulled out his wand, pointing it at my face.

Remus reacted swiftly, rushing over and pushing Sirius back. "Woah, woah, what the fuck, Pads," he said, trying to diffuse the escalating situation.

Sirius kept his wand pointed at me, I could practically see steam coming off him. I got to my feet, James stood beside Remus trying to keep Sirius back.

"This is not how we need to handle this.." James says, placing a hand on Sirius' wand.

Sirius let out an irritated huff, and lowered his wand. "Get the fuck out of here before I kill you." He spat.

Without hesitation I turned on my heel and quickly walked away from the Gryffindor common room.