Unbound

Chapter 6

By the time the day was through, I'd only managed to finish the first cabinet of shelves nearest to the door. It would take me months to work my way through the whole room, and I knew Marie's intention had been exactly that.

I left my medical bag stowed under the table when I was dismissed to leave so that my hands would both be free to shove deep into the pockets of my coat. The sun was close to setting and although it was freezing out, the pack members on the street wore little more than thin jackets.

"Hang on!" Aubrey called. She was leaving the clinic just behind me and she took several large strides to catch up. "How's your project coming along?"

"Honestly? Daunting." I admitted. She snorted.

"There's a reason why we've been ignoring it. Are you walking home?" She asked. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, clenching my teeth to keep them from chattering together. I hated that she had referred to that tiny, dirty apartment as my home, but I forced myself to nod.

"I have to go to the grocery store first. It's that way, right?" I jerked my head in the general direction I thought I needed to walk. Aubrey ignored my question.

"You're going by yourself?"

"There's no food in my apartment," I explained. She sucked in a breath, then sighed.

"Come on, it's not far past my house."

"You don't have to," I argued, but she was already walking away. I hurried to match her pace.

"Oh, yes I do." She said without breaking stride. "You shouldn't be wandering around here alone yet. And besides," she added, "I have a vested interest in your survival."

"Why?" I asked cautiously.

"I want the storeroom reorganized." She looked at me sideways, lips curling into a playful smirk. I let out a breathy, nervous laugh.

A rush of cold wind whipped my hair into my face as a trio of wolves, fully shifted, barreled past us down the middle of the street. I remembered hearing once that Castle Pack members tended to spend more time than most in their wolf forms, but even with this knowledge I was startled. I tried not to stare, but Aubrey noticed and chuckled.

"So you can't shift at all?" To my surprise, she sounded genuinely curious. There was no hint of judgement in her voice and it put me at ease. I shook my head no.

"I'm only a quarter wolf by blood."

"You're lucky to have been born into a pack so accepting of that. It wouldn't even be a possibility here."

"You've never had any members mate with humans?" I followed the wolves with my gaze, now small in the distance as they continued running. Aubrey let out a sharp laugh, tossing her head back.

"Fuck, no!" She exclaimed. "The only thing humans ever do for us is cause problems. No offense."

"None taken." I said. It always stung a bit getting sucked into the conflict and being immediately relegated to the human side of things, but I'd come to expect it. Even back home, there were still some that were wary of me after all this time.

I was immediately overcome by a wave of apprehension as the grocery store came into view that very nearly overpowered my hunger. But I'd been lightheaded since noon; I had to eat something tonight. I stuck close to Aubrey's solid frame as we entered and I could feel the shift in the space instantly. I knew how afraid and vulnerable I must look, and I hated it, but even if I acted confident I reeked of fear.

The other shoppers hushed as we passed and gave me a wide berth. It was uncomfortable, but I much preferred it to angry confrontation. Or, I thought with a pang, to Gabriel's resentful glare. In a daze, I followed Aubrey up and down the aisles. I was gripping the handle of the basket so tightly that my knuckles had turned white. I only managed to pull a few random things off the shelves before Aubrey took charge quickly and filled the rest of the basket with meat, canned soup, and fresh vegetables.

Jack, always thinking ahead, had stuffed my wallet with cash before I left: he'd assumed that stores here wouldn't take credit cards. Though I was pleased to find that they did, my heart ached when I saw the bills.

"Even I'll admit," Aubrey confessed when she saw my surprise, "human technology is convenient."

"But not when it comes to medicine?" I may have been pushing my luck, but now that we were standing outside the store on the sidewalk, I felt a bit braver.

"Especially not when it comes to medicine." Aubrey gave me a tight smile and changed the subject clumsily: "Where do you live?"

"A mile or so up the road. I'll be fine." I was disappointed that she wouldn't entertain my question and when she said goodbye and handed me my bags, I was likely more reticent than I should have been after all of her unsolicited help.

Once I'd gotten my groceries home and upstairs into my apartment, I ran my hands under hot tap water for awhile to warm up. I put everything away slowly and took my time deciding which can of soup to heat up for dinner. I was procrastinating. Jack would have left me one, if not several messages on my phone. If I listened to them, I'd have to call him back. As much as I wanted to hear his voice, neither of us were ready to talk without getting emotional.

The whole time I ate standing at the kitchen counter, I was plagued by a sense of unease. Seeing the settlement and some of the pack members in the daylight hadn't gone as far to make me feel safe here as I'd hoped.

It took another hour before I finally realized what was missing in me, and why I felt so off. Being here away from my pack, what little of the link I felt was gone, too. The air around me that usually swirled with the emotions and thoughts and intentions of my packmates was now still and quiet. Though I'd never fully been able to tap into it, I realized then just how much that low buzz was comforting. Without it, the silence seemed at once both empty and suffocating.

I longed for a television or radio to fill the void with chatter, but I knew I wouldn't find either here. The best I could do was to open a window and let in the sounds of the night: the wind's whistle as it crested over rooftops and around corners, the few birds left trilling their last strains of the day. Off in the distance, the growling and yipping of wolves in the forest, hunting or chasing or otherwise running off their pent-up energy. The apartment quickly grew icy cold, but I dressed in layers and again curled up under my coat on the futon to sleep.