Unbound

Chapter 12

I read the letter over and over again, until my eyes burned and I knew the words by heart. Over the tray of breakfast delivered to my room, I went through reams of paper trying to write a proper response. Jack's had been several pages long: news from the pack, updates on the harvest and how they were rebuilding their stores for the winter, and how much he missed me. How the house feels empty without me. How he understood why I hadn't reached out yet, and how he would wait as long as I needed.

I wished my reply could have been as poignant. I envisioned writing paragraph after paragraph of emotional, meaningful sentiments. When I finished, though, it was only just barely two pages long. I wanted to pour everything out for him, every little detail, but I knew it would only hurt him to hear how unhappy I'd been and how I was being treated. The result was surface-level, and I knew he'd spot that fact right away, but no matter what I wrote it was going to feel wrong. Call me when you get this, I miss hearing your voice. By the time he received and read the letter, I hoped I'd be ready for it.

With breakfast, I also received a detailed schedule of the weekend's meetings. Different groups, in different iterations, with very few breaks in between. I was surprised by just how organized the whole thing was; I'd imagined something much more ad hoc. I wondered whether this was Alanna's influence that Constance had been alluding to the night before.

I spent most of the morning curled up on the window seat, watching flurries of snow start and stop as grey clouds blew through overhead. The surface of the lake was disturbed by the breeze and the falling flakes, blurring the reflection of the trees. I wished my apartment had a view like this, or really of anything other than the vacant lot across the street. It was peaceful here. Despite everything, I was glad that I came.

By midday, I felt restless. I dressed in slacks and a nice shirt and decided that it was time to leave the relative safety of my room to see more of the estate. The schedule provided instructions to reach the kitchen from the foyer, where there would be a constantly revolving spread of refreshments throughout the weekend. The welcome dinner would be our only meal together; the rotating buffet would serve to accommodate the packed meeting schedule.

I tucked the schedule, along with Jack's letter and my response, into my pocket and locked my door behind me. I took my time making my way to the kitchen, stopping to admire each oil painting of different windswept landscapes as I passed. They were beautiful. Some reminded me of home.

My heart sank when I stepped into the kitchen and noticed Gabriel seated at the empty end of the table skimming through a pile of papers. I had studied the schedule carefully before even leaving my room and was sure, positive, that he was supposed to be in a meeting right now. I tripped slightly crossing the threshold of the door and busied myself with filling a glass of water.

"How are you?" I asked after I'd caught my breath and cleared my throat. No response. I tried again: "how have your meetings gone so far?"

"Fine," Gabriel grunted without looking up from his work. He shifted his body slightly, turning away. Closing himself off.

"Alright, that's...good." I stood awkwardly, holding my glass of water. Though he had clearly ended the conversation, I didn't know how to extricate myself from the situation. I wished I'd never spoken in the first place. I regretted leaving my room. In fact, contrary to my earlier thought, I regretted coming at all.

"Kiera." Dmitri entered then, saving me. I exhaled and spun towards him.

"Hi!" I knew I sounded much too relieved. I wondered how long he'd been standing in the doorway.

"You're well?" He moved toward the table to survey the spread. I nodded.

"Yes, thanks. Actually, I'd hoped to run into you today." I pulled the papers from my pocket and handed him my letter to Jack. Subtly, I checked the schedule and confirmed that Gabriel should have been in a meeting. I should ask if there's a revised copy. "You're sure you don't mind delivering this?"

"Not at all." Dmitri smiled and tucked it into his jacket. A faint growl came from Gabriel's direction, so quiet I almost wasn't sure I'd heard it at all. Dmitri and I both glanced over to where he sat, facing fully away from us now, hands gripping the papers tightly. The sound made my stomach turn. I'd never get used to the primal fear it evoked in me.

"Walk with me, I have some time before my next meeting and I need to stretch my legs." Dmitri offered me his arm and I took it gratefully. In that moment, I would have gone anywhere with just about anyone.

Dmitri led me down a separate hallway in comfortable silence. Although I hadn't known him back home, he made me feel as though I had. He was an excellent Alpha, truly, and I felt lucky to have been born into his pack.

"Has he been this way the whole time?" We reached a small library and Dmitri gestured for me to take a seat in a plush armchair. He sat in one across from me and balanced his plate on his knee.

"Yes," I started, then changed my mind. "Well, yes and no. He's just so...hot and cold. He was fine most of the drive up here, but ignored me the minute we walked in. And then–"

"And then chose to sit next to you at dinner last night." Dmitri finished. He sighed and lowered his voice so I had to lean in slightly. "I could ask him to make a trade, to accept someone else as payment for the life-debt. It seems that it would take very little convincing."

My heart tore in two. More than anything, I wanted to say yes. To agree to the offer, pack my bags, and go home with him and Constance to my Sawtooth family. But I couldn't be so selfish. I couldn't subject anyone else to the treatment I'd received. I couldn't be responsible for someone else being taken away from their home and their loved ones. As much as it hurt, I shook my head no.

"I'm sure a full-blooded wolf would be more readily accepted," he tried. I knew he could feel my apprehension.

"I know. And I appreciate the offer. You have no idea how much. But I can't let you do that." A voice in my head screamed, begging me to take back my words. But there was another, quieter voice, deeper in my gut, that told me I needed to stay. On the rare occasion such as this that my intuition came through clearly enough to understand, I had to listen to it.

We sat quietly together for several minutes and it took everything in me not to tell him I'd changed my mind. Dmitri broke the silence.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am. Choosing you to go was the hardest decision I've ever had to make." His dark eyes held mine as he looked at me earnestly. Being back around him and Constance had reopened our link just slightly, and I could feel how much it had been eating him up inside.

"It's okay," I promised. "I was the only choice. I know that."

"I could have told him no."

I shook my head and we lapsed back into silence. Dmitri looked down at his watch and sighed.

"I need to track down my mate, I promised her a walk after lunch."

"Of course," I stood and smiled. "Tell her hello for me."

"Why don't you come to the next meeting with us?" Dmitri offered.

"I really shouldn't." I tried to recall the schedule but couldn't bring to mind who he would be meeting with next. It didn't matter. "It's not my place."

"Constance will be there too; these meetings aren't nearly as exclusive as some would have you believe." He winked. "And besides that, it'll at least be mildly more entertaining than sitting alone in your room."

We arranged to meet back at the kitchen in several hours, and after Dmitri left I stayed behind in the library to thumb through the books on the shelves. They were old, most of them on strategy and war with brittle spines from years of opening and closing. It was quite a collection.

One shelf, lower down, held books of legends and children's stories. I chose one of those, filled with detailed illustrations, and settled back into the chair with it to wait.