Unbound

Chapter 48

Near midnight, I was still wide awake. I'd tossed and turned for hours, tried every possible position I could stretch or contort myself into. Tried every method for falling asleep that I knew. It still wouldn't come. Frustrated, I kicked off the blankets and padded out into the hall. Mikael had left hours before, and now the house was silent. I tried my best to keep it that way as I crept out into the kitchen to fill a glass of water.

Standing over the sink, a shadow that flitted across the living room floor made me jump and nearly drop the glass. When I checked, there was no one there; it had come from movement outside. Gabriel was still here, standing just below the porch, lit by a bright moon overhead.

Through the window I saw him pull a small vial from his pocket. With shaking hands, he raised it to his lips and tipped it up. It was empty, but he seemed determined to get every last drop. He threw it to the ground in frustration and it shattered against the porch steps.

"Gabriel?" I stepped outside and closed the door softly behind me. "What is that?"

"Go back inside. It's late." He sagged against the railing. His teeth ground together so loudly that I could hear the grating sound from where I stood several feet away and it tore straight through me.

"What are you taking?" In spite of myself, I was concerned about him.

"Nothing."

I took a step closer, truly examining him for the first time since getting back. Gabriel's hair was unkempt and his shoulders were rounded, his entire body under tension. He wore two expressions: on the surface, his face was drawn and stoic. Underneath, though, I could see the pain. His eyes were fixed on a point somewhere to my left, beyond the house, but they were unfocused. By the way he blinked them hard every now and then I could tell his vision was blurred.

"Tell me." I stepped forward. He stepped back, wavering, nearly stumbling.

"Don't," he warned when I held out a hand.

"It's for your head?" I guessed. He nodded tightly. "How bad is it?"

"Please go back inside," he pleaded. "It's late, and cold. You should be asleep."

Our roles should have been reversed. It should be him trying to reach out to me. It should be me pushing him away. I knew that; I wanted that. But maybe, just for tonight, I could set that aside. I could go back to hating him tomorrow.

"Only if you'll come with me." I could swear he stopped breathing. I moved closer and slipped my hand into his. The feeling of his fingers tightening instinctively around mine made my chest ache with longing. "Come with me, Gabriel."

He let me pull him into the house, down the hall, into my room. I sat him on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes, then his damp jeans. I gestured for him to raise his arms and pulled his shirt off over his head. His smell. Fuck, his smell. I'd missed it so badly I could cry.

I laid him down and tucked him under the blankets. I slid into the bed beside him and he let me maneuver him to lay his head on my chest. Wordlessly, he clung to me. I ran my fingers through his knotted hair in long, calming strokes. He needed this. We both did.

I could go back to hating him tomorrow.

Gabriel was still hard asleep when I woke up, splayed out sideways on the bed with one arm and one leg draped protectively over me. He was a furnace—despite the chill of the room, I was sweating in my thin pajamas. Hair a tangled mess, mouth slightly open as he breathed slowly, it looked like this was the first good night of sleep he'd gotten since I'd left. I know it was mine.

Carefully, I wiggled out from under him, pausing every couple seconds to make sure he hadn't woken up. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet, nor was I prepared to admit that spending the night with him had eased all of the aches and cramps that had been building in my body. My stomach felt fine, and when I stood, my head didn't spin. It was a relief and a curse.