Random Renga oneshots

There was never a happy end

This is another chapter that needs a TW. So please skip if you're uncomfortable :) 

"Langa- can you believe she kissed me?" Reki said excitedly, one afternoon. He had met up with Langa a little bit later than normal- due to his girlfriend wanting to hang out after school for a few hours. Langa wished they had just forgotten about this and gone home. Reki was always talking about his girlfriend now. Even skating seemed to have slipped his mind when he talked about the girl he loved. Sure before he had got a girlfriend, Langa had been suffering- he wouldn't have told Reki his feelings. But now, everything hurt. He couldn't enjoy spending time with Reki the way he used to, knowing he would never even have a chance. 

"I think I want to marry her." Reki said suddenly, causing Langa to fall of his skateboard in shock- wasn't that a big thing to say about a relationship that was barely a month long? Langa felt his eyes start to water so he blinked quickly, trying his best to get rid of the tears. Reki looked at him surprised. "You okay?" He offered a hand out to Langa, but he got up on his own. "Sure-" Langa's pain didn't come from falling. It was something different. "You really want to marry her?" Langa asked, he wasn't sure why- it would just make things worse. "Yeah.. I mean.." Reki trailed off- like something was on his mind. Lange felt hopeful, maybe he didn't like her that much. Then he felt guilt for thinking that way. "Its not like I'd have anyone else- and she's pretty." 

Langa wished he could tell Reki he was right there. That Langa would be with him in a heartbeat. Reki could burn down a building and Langa would still love him. The only thing stopping Langa was- well he wasn't a pretty girl. The next question, was hard to ask casually. "Would you have been with me if I was a girl?" Reki choked. "It's not.. I don't care if you're a boy or a girl. Its about if you like me- which you don't." Langa wondered, would things have gone differently if he had confessed. Maybe he would have if she hadn't called Reki. 

He watched silently as Reki said goodbye to him. He knew he really didn't have a chance. 

...

Years later, Langa was still there. At their wedding day. His feelings for Reki were still as strong as they had been when they were younger. They wouldn't go away, no matter who he met. Langa was stuck loving Reki forever. But Reki would never love him back. He was in the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror. He assumed he was alone.

"Reki... I wish I could tell you I love you."

Langa jumped as a stall door opened. He spun around hoping it was someone like Miya, or Joe. Who already knew about his feelings.

It was Reki. 

He was standing there in shock, wiping away a few tears. But he wasn't crying from happiness. Langa knew that much. "Do you need a moment?" Langa found himself asking, even though he had just accidentally confessed his love for the other. On his wedding day. Reki shook his head, taking a few steps forward and hugging Langa tightly. "Langa.." His voice sounded broken. "I don't think I want to marry her." His breathing was heavy and he started to cry again, on Langa's shoulder. "Then... Why..?" Langa wasn't sure what exactly he was asking, but Reki seemed to know. "I've been lying to myself... For so long.. It hurts." Langa stayed quiet, just holding Reki. He wished they could stay like that forever.. But they couldn't.

...

About a year after that Langa was faced with someone he never thought he would see. "You were his best friend right?" She asked. Langa really didn't want to talk to her. Even though she now shared Reki's last name... That made the pain worse. She pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Langa. A letter. "This was for you, I don't know how to read it." Langa took the letter. His heart feeling heaver by the moment. If she wasn't able to read Reki's writing- how could Langa? 

He didn't open the letter until he was home, his hands shaking. He was sitting down for this, if he wasn't- he felt like he would collapse. Reki left this, for him. The last thing he left behind was for Langa..

When he looked at the letter it all made sense. Reki had written the letter in English... Did that mean he didn't want anyone else to be able to read it..?

My Dearest Langa, 

I hope this gets to you. And I'm sorry to everyone else, though I know they can't read this. I didn't leave them anything. I just left this for you.

Langa, do you remember the day I heard you say you loved me..? I'm sorry for crying into your arms like that. Which I wish I could tell you was that was the first time in a while I had felt happy. I wish I could have told you I was in love with you too.

How long did you love me? Do you still? Did you love me that day at the skatepark, when you asked if I would have married you- if you were a girl. If I had known you felt that way, I wouldn't have cared. I would have been with you as you are.

Think for a moment, if we had been married. Would you have taken me back to Canada? I would have loved to see it. Its a shame I never will. 

I would have gone anywhere with you.

My death, me doing this, it wasn't your fault. It was my own. I was afraid to face my own feelings. I was overwhelmed. There was nothing you could have done to help.. It had been all up to me.

Don't feel bad, I'll be happy here. In your heart. And you'll be in mine- even if it doesn't work anymore. Wherever I am, whatever happens after death. I'm thinking of you, I'll always think of you.

I know it was my wedding day, but I should have told you. I wonder what would have happened if I had simply said.

I love you too. 

I always have.

Infinitely yours,
Reki Kyan 

Langa let out a sob, his tears had been staining the letter as he read, he held the letter close to his heart. Crumpling the pages a little. "Reki.. It hurts." Langa felt like he had been stabbed, he felt like the world had ended and he had been left with nothing. Why did Reki leave him alone?

He found himself repeating Reki's name over and over again, like it would bring him back. Langa wished it could. He wished Reki was by his side. Why had he let this happen. When his father died, Langa had just felt numb. Now all he could do was cry- why was this different. Did life have to take everything away from him?

He laid in bed, unwilling to get up. He held the letter close at all hours of the day, he didn't care how much time had passed, how much time would pass. In one dream, he saw Reki.

"Langa." His voice echoed in Langa's ear, the voice he missed more than he had never missed anything. "You can't do this to yourself." Reki took a physical form, Langa wrapped his arms around Reki. He could do anything in a dream. "I can't.. I don't want to do anything without you." 

Reki looked hurt, Langa would have felt guilty if any of this was real. But he let out a sob as Reki started to fade. "Don't- don't go again."

When he woke up he felt weak. He wasn't able to do anything. Not that he wanted to anyway, Langa stayed awake, but it wasn't for very long before his eyes started to close again, for the last time. Maybe- just maybe. He'd see Reki again soon. 

Maybe in one life, they could be happy.