Worthless

Anchor

Alright, buckle up y'all this is gonna be some serious emotional damage. This chapter is loooooooong and sad. You've been warned. 

Minho pov

Jisung's breathing was the only sound in the room. Everything was quiet. I looked down at him, where he was peacefully sleeping in my arms, and smiled, but my smile died down when I saw my arm.
The scars had faded a long time ago; they were barely noticeable, could be easily mixed up with my arm hairs, and not be detectable, but the pain was still fresh.
I didn't like to think about my past because every time I did it felt like stabbing myself with a dagger on a still-open wound.
Unfortunately in a time like this without anything else to distract me, I couldn't help but think.

-18 years ago-

I remember I was 7 years old, in my classroom, clueless about what was about to happen when a guard came in and called for me.
"Lee Minho, has to be excused from class for personal reasons," he said and the teacher told me to go with him.

I didn't understand what was going on and I was scared.
"Where are we going?" I asked the guard with a tiny voice afraid he might get mad if I spoke too loudly.
The man turned around and gave me a sympathetic smile.
"You are going to...say goodbye to your Dad, little one," he said.
"Goodbye?" I asked confused.

He didn't speak another word to me, he only led the way to a corridor of the Arc I had never seen open before.
It was always closed with a "Personal Only" sign.
When we turned a corner I saw that my mother was there, holding, my baby brother, Felix, on one arm while drying her tears with her free hand.

"Minho," she said in a broken voice when she saw me.
"Mom?" I said and took a few steps closer to her.
Only then I noticed my father standing between two guards with his hands cuffed behind his back.
"Hey, Champ" he smiled when he saw me.
"Dad!" I said and smiled.
I hadn't seen him in two months, since the day of his arrest.
"You have 5 minutes," said the guard that had brought me there and freed my father's hands.
He came to hug me and take me in his arms, then he hugged Mom and Felix too.
"I'm so sorry," he said giving, the three of us a forehead kiss each.

I still didn't comprehend what was going on, but I knew it was something bad when Mom started breaking down, sobbing.
She had always been a strong woman and I had never seen her cry before.
"How could you be so reckless! How will I raise them without you" she yelled and carefully placed Felix on the floor where he stood on his two little feet and clumsily came to me almost tripping.
I took his hand and helped him stand up while keeping my eyes on my parents who were arguing.
I don't remember everything they said, I just remember a lot of screaming from my mom, tears, and despair.
"I can't live without you, Kai," she said and he hugged her.
"You'll have to live for them, my love. I'm so sorry" he said looking at us.

I remember being scared and the only thing that gave me comfort at that moment was Felix's tinny and chubby hand squeezing mine. He was 2 and probably had no idea what was happening, but I like to believe that he somehow understood that his big brother was frightened and needed him to comfort him a little.

Dad then kneeled down in front of us and smiled.
"Listen up Minho," he said and I looked at him with tears in my eye.
"You'll be the man of the house now when I'm gone, yeah," he said and dried my tears with his thumb.
"Why are you going?" I said.
"I have no choice, my little boy...Promise Daddy one thing ok? You'll take care of Mom and little Lixie for me will ya?" he said and I nodded.
"They're your responsibility ok? I know you will grow up to be a strong man" he said tearing up before hugging me tight.
"Remember that Daddy loves you so much," he said and then looked at Lix.
"I'm sorry I didn't have more time with you, my sweet boy," he said and took Lix in his arms.
"I'll leave you in good hands" he cried while giving Lix kisses all over his little face.
"Daddy," said my brother grabbing his hair and giggling.
"I love you Lixie, be a good boy ok," he said and put him down again.
Then he gave Mom a kiss and held her for a while longer until the guards came back.