Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 23

One week ago

"Tara" Sitara lifted her head to found Nargis peeping from her door. "Nargis, come" she said and quickly wore her veil. "You are packing, right?" She asked her "What packing, I am just taking some photographs with me. One is of everyone, one of Dad and I and one of you and I. See, you remember it we got it clicked at Anarkali Bazar. We had so much fun that day, shopping, eating." She said reminiscing about the happy times of her life, when she was free. Her hand went to the little red frock. She picked it up "Rihan Bhai selected this for me, when I was six months old, and then Ruku wore it too. It will be memory of both of them", she said smiling. "Keep this too, among your things" she said sliding a box towards her. "What's this?" She said and opened the box. "Nargis! Are you crazy? You are giving me birth control pills?" She said shocked. "You think he is going to understand that you are just eighteen. You are too young Sitara to be a mother
" she said "And I don't want to be either. Atleast not now" said Sitara. Ofcourse she don't want to be mother at the age of eighteen. "I know Tara, that's why I am giving you this. You think he won't want to start a family with you. He won't wait Tara" she said with so much pity that it made her cry. "You think they won't check my things when Faizan Bhai will take them tomorrow. Khan Saheb will allow this?" She asked Nargis at her stupidity. "Hide it somewhere" "No Nargis, I can't risk it. I don't want that my family bear the consequences" she said returning her the box. "Tara?" "Nargis, whatever is written in my fate will happen. If he is my destiny then so be it. But I am not risking the life of all you" she said adamantly.

Present

"B-birth con-control?" She asked scared. She remembered returning Nargis the pills. Did she keep it anyway? The thought was scaring her. "Yeah c'mon take it" he said. Why is he asking me to take it? Is this some kind of manipulative punishment? Is it some kind of test like the one he did when he took me to fair.

"Sitara, what are you waiting for? I said take it so take it" he said as she was staring at him dumbfounded. "Do-Don't you want a kid with me?" She asked trying to understand what's going on in his mind.

He grabbed her jaw harshly getting up in a blink of an eye. She gasped at the sudden change of his behavior.

"Never! Never will anyone come between us. Why don't you understand Jaana that you are fucking mine" he bellowed making her shiver. "Tum chahti ho tumhari nazaron mei kisi aur ke khwab ho. Tumhare labon par kisi aur ka naam ho. Tum humse jitni bhi nafrat kar lo Jaana par tum kisi aur se pyar karo ye humhe hargiz bardasht nahi." (You want that your eyes have dreams of someone else, your lips says someone else's name. Hate me all you want, but I will never tolerate that you love someone else) he said leaving her astounded at his words. How can someone get jealous of their own child.

His heavy breathing broke her trance and his forehead touched her's. His hands were rubbing her arms "One year and twenty four hours I waited to make you mine, kyuki hum jante the ki nikahname pe dastakhat ke bina tumhari nazaron mei rishta jayaz nahi hoga. Is rishte to tumhare liye jayaz banana ke liye, hamare ishq, hamari mohabbat ko tumhari nazaron mei jayaz banana ke liye humne hazaron ghante tumhara intezar kiya aur ab jab hamari Jaana hamare kareeb hai to tum khud ko baatne ke liye keh rahi ho." (Because I knew that until we sign the Nikahnama this relationship will not be legal in your eyes. Hence I waited to make this relationship right in your eyes. To make my love right in your eyes, I waited thousands of hours to do this the right way. And now when finally my Jaana is so close to me then you are asking me to share yourself) he said pulling her closer to him and she held his chest before she would have banged it

"Nahi baant sakte hum tumhe kisi ke bhi sath, ab aur nahi. Tumhari har ek saans sirf hamari hai Jaana. Sirf hamare liye hai. (NO! I can't share you. I can't. Every breath of yours belongs to me Jaana. Only me) he said in his deep voice laced with obsession. "And I will kill anyone who will try to take what's mine. Jisne hamari Jaana ke saaye ko ya uske khayalon ko bhi chua use hum khatam kar denge fir chahe wo hamari khud ki aulaad hi kyu na ho" (whosoever even tried to touch the shadow, even the thoughts of my Jaana I will kill them even if it is my own child) he said and she saw the honesty in his eyes.