Lock Off (Nagi x reader - A Second Chance Romance)

CHAPTER 25: Cards on the table

Y/N - 19 Years Old

I don't know what compelled me to approach him when I saw him sitting alone at the fire pit, but my feet were moving before I could tell myself to stop. Now that we're sitting side by side, I couldn't help the words that bubbled out of me.

"I think we should talk"

In the corner of my eye I saw him stiffen, "I do want to talk but maybe we should when you're sober?"

"I am sober" I said while turning to face him, my voice clear. He raised a brow, probably remembering making me a drink earlier.

"I haven't had a drink in almost 3 hours, and I didn't finish the one you gave me" I chose to keep out the fact I saw that girl hitting on him and crushed the solo cup in my hand causing the drink to spill out. I cleaned it up, talked with people and danced out all my alcohol, trying to forgot the imagine of that girl attaching herself to him.

"It's been 3 hours?" his eyes widened, I laughed and his face softened. "Yeah, I see your ability to lose track of time is still the same."

He smiled sheepishly, "I guess some things don't change." I nodded, "yeah.. but some do" I whispered looking at the fire.

He cleared his throat, "Okay, we'll talk. Ask me anything you want to know."

"Was it Mira's idea?" I went straight to the point, no bullshit.

"Yes and no" and I closed my eyes, he continued "I was torn between believing Ego's words and thinking he was delusional. And in a way she manipulated my thinking. She made me believe that the reason I was getting hurt all the time was because you were a distraction. The guys who found out about you knew what to say to push my buttons. I was constantly playing dirty." he shook his head.

"She told me what to say.." I sucked in a breath, my eyes watering remembering the harsh words he wrote.

"But in the end, I was the one who clicked send. I'm so so sorry, y/n. Words cannot express how sorry I am, and for the rest of my life I will fight for your forgiveness"

"Why block me but get alerts on my social media?" I ignored his apology, I wanted all my questions answered before I addressed that.

"I thought it would be easier to hold strong if i blocked you, but i worried about you so I continued to watch your socials" he sighed. "Hmm." I responders and there was a tense silence.

"You called me a whore." It wasn't a question and he knew it based on his wince. I had more questions about that night but his words from a few days ago bothered me more than anything.

"I never should have said that, you're not a whore.."

"Why'd you say it?"

"Gojo got under my skin" he sighed, "it's not an excuse but that's what happened. I am so sorry." Deep down, I knew he meant it but refused to give him the words.

I looked up to the sky. "Green has never been your color" I shrugged and he let out a terse breath. A rough "yeah" left his lips. I never addressed whether or not Gojo and I had fucked, I wanted him to mull over that 'did she?' thought a little longer.

"What happened with Reo? He never told me what happened."

He flinched and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, "I'm ashamed to say that I was a dick in the project, I missed you so much that I resented everything that I associated you with." he sighed, "I started disliking soccer because it was something we played, I resented stupid things like my bed because I had to sleep alone. But I started resenting Reo because he was our third pillar, it was always us three and with you not there I started to blame him for it."

"Blame him for what?"

"Me being in the project, he was the one who convinced me to consider it. When I received the letter, I threw it out. He saw it on top of my trash the day of the party and asked me why it was in there. When I told him I wasn't going, he named all the reasons why I should go so I started considering it."

He looked up to the sky, "I know ultimately it wasn't his fault and I've apologized to him for the things I said in there but for a very long time he was the easiest to blame. Isagi took pity on me and forced me to stay with him when I tried my hardest to pull away from everyone. It wasn't until he woke my ass up that I realized my mistake but by then it was too late."

"I'm glad you realized it though, i'm sure he'll forgive you eventually.." I told him.

It was quiet for a while and I asked the question that haunted me since that day.

"Did you fuck Mira?" I whispered hoarsely, closing my eyes.

"Look at me please" he begged.

I took a deep breath and faced him, "No." he said with conviction. "I haven't been with anyone since you." he smiled sadly, "You were always going to be my last." I exhaled a choppy breath.

"I regret everything that happened that day and like I said earlier I will fight for your forgiveness. I'll take you anyway that I can. I'd be content with being friends if that's all you wanted. I just need you in my life.."

"I don't now if I can forgive you just yet" I replied honestly, "We can try to be friends but I just don't know. We can't go back to how we were before we got together, I hope you know that.."

He nodded solemnly, "I know, but if you're willing to try to be friends then i'm okay with that."

"Okay" I nodded and relaxed into the chair, placing my feet near to fire to warm up.

"So.. catch me up on your life?" he asked hesitantly.

I chuckled softly and told him about what i've done the past year, we caught each other up on almost everything. He told me about his experiences in blue lock and I told him how my knack for procrastination regarding studying is still a thing. We shared a few laughs and embarrassing stories, learning new things about each other and trying to make sense of this weird situation we were in.

We lapsed into silence after a while until I let out a yawn, "I should probably go" I said when I looked at the time and realized it was almost 2am.

"Let me walk you home" he said while standing.

"Oh, no it's okay. I can just call an uber"

"Please? I'd feel better seeing for myself you got home safe" he pleaded.

I nodded and we walked on the side of the house to start our 15 minute walk to my dorm, we kept conversation light and easy. When we reached the entrance to my building, I faced him, "thank you for walking me." I gave him a small smile.

"Thank you for letting me" he returned my smile with one of his own.

"Good night.." I whispered before turning around. He stood there waiting until I got into the building, only leaving when I was out of sight. I showered the collapsed on my bed, I felt lighter having gotten my questions answered. I texted the group chat between me, Satoru and Suguru letting them know I got home safe, falling asleep almost instantly.