Hitorijime My Hero

I'm Here

TW: MENTIONS OF PAST R@PE

While sleeping, I got kicked. At first, I didn't think much of it, just Masahiro moving in his sleep. Only when he kicked me a few more times and punched me once or twice did I get concerned. I sat up quickly and looked over to my better half and see him rolling around a bit with tears streaming down his face. His knees are held up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them., and his back facing me. He's having a nightmare; no doubt about it.

What'd I do? I don't want to scare him by suddenly waking him up. I did the only thing I could think of, I hugged him and rubbed his stomach while repeating "It's ok". It didn't take him long to wake up, and when he did it looked as though he was disoriented. He took some time to look around the room it took him a bit to realize where he was because of the darkness.

"Kousuke?" He asked looking towards me.

"I'm here my love" I responded.

"I-" his voice cracked and he started to cry again.

"It's alright, I will never let anyone hurt you again" I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him as close to me as humanly possible.

It wasn't out of the ordinary for Masa to get nightmares, in fact, it's biweekly; however, it's a lot better than it used to be. After the incident, he'd have them every night, but as time went on and he had more therapy sessions he got them every other night, then four to three times a week, three to two times a week, once a week, to where he is now. It brings me so much joy to see him grow, adjust, and develop into the person he is today. He has always been a lot stronger than he thinks and I truly wish I could have him see that. After everything he's gone through, he deserves to give himself more credit.

It only took a few minutes for Masahiro to fall back to sleep and luckily he didn't have any more nightmares that night. I always feel bad that it was him and not me who suffered because he has such a good heart and is a blessing in my life. I guess God has a weird way of showing his love to his creations. That's something else I never quite understood, if there is a God why would he make people suffer? Why would he allow people to be beaten by their parents? Be bullied every day they stepped into a school building? Why would he let someone so innocent, so kindhearted, and so selfless get raped!? I'm not saying one's religion is wrong, it's just something I don't think I can ever understand. At the same time, he brought Masahiro to me, taught me how to love unconditionally, and gave me my intelligence. I'm not sure who or what God is, but he sure does work in mysterious ways. Is it possible that this is one of those things that I'm not meant to figure out? Maybe. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to know, yet it's my nature to crave information.

The smell of bacon and french toast woke me up in the morning. I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Masahirowas standing by the stove finishing up the bacon.

" Oh, you're up" the petite male stated as he took his eyes off the pan to meet mine for a split second.

"Yep, how could I not be when you're cooking? I could smell it from upstairs."

A light blush makes its way onto his cheeks as he finishes up the meat and places it onto our plates before setting them down on the table. We take a seat across from each other as always and as I was about to dig in I got this dreadful feeling that something wasn't right.

"Masa?"

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You had a nightmare last night. Do you not remember?" I said, looking at my partner confused.

"No, I remember. I just don't want to" he answered.

"Masa, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away."

"I'm well aware, but if I keep thinking about it I will never be able to let it go."

"It'll never go away, you know that more than anyone. You are a very strong individual and you amaze me with it everyday, but I'm worried that what happened is holding on to you too tightly and you don't deserve that. I want to love and cherish you at your best and worst, I'll take it all. I want you to know that you are safe with me and if you ever want to talk about anything I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere until I'm six feet under. I love you so deeply and nothing you can do or say is going to change that."

Masahiro didn't say anything at first, he just got up from his seat, walked over to me, and sat on my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck while his legs dangled.

"Why me?" Masa mumbled.

"I wish I knew my love, I really do. You are too good for this world."

"Kousuke"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you'll never leave me."

"I promise, and I'll promise you however many times you need me to. I won't leave you Masahiro. Only death could take me away from you."

"Till death do us part" Masahiro said with a slight chuckle.

"Exactly" I replied with the same attitude.

We sat like this for a while and I ate my breakfast with one hand while the other was around my husband, who would occasionally steal a bite of my food from my fork. Once I plate was empty, I took all the dishes over to the sink and washed them as Masahiro took a seat on the couch next to the animals. I joined our little family after the dishes were finished.

"Thank you" the blond suddenly said.

"For what?"

"Staying by me and being so understanding."

"You don't have to thank me for that"

"But I do. You were the first person that truly showed me what unconditional love is."

"Masa, never feel like you have to thank me for anything like that. You are the love of my life and never forget that." I replied and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you"

"I love you too, so much"

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Hey!!

I decided to do an extra long chapter this month because it is pride month!! I hope everyone has an amazing month and remember that you are valid! No matter your sexuality, gender, or gender expression. You are valid and important and I am so glad that you are here on this planet! <3

~🐝