Hitorijime My Hero

Like Before

Drip
Drip
Drip

It's raining. I have a love hate relationship with the rain. It smells amazing after it passes, but I usually end up getting sick from it.

Drip
Drip
Drip

I look back on the day I ran off. The day I took the train and threw my phone into the river. The day I broke up with Kousuke. I'm glad we patched things up, because I love him more than words could express.

When I'm around him I feel nothing but love. I'm sure the same goes for him, but my insecurities try to convince me otherwise. As much as Kousuke's my hero, he's just as equally a person. We've had our fights and disagreements, but everyone does. Even with all our differences, I love him, I love him so much.

It's been a while since we've had sex, I'll admit that. I appreciate Kousuke's patience with me. Ever since the incident I've been afraid, although the therapy has helped greatly. I hold up my cards and tap my finger on the coffee table. The family is gathered around for family game night.

"Uno!" Kensuke yells placing down a yellow eight.

"Why you little-!"

"Kousuke Ohshiba watch your language!" Ms. Ohshiba says to her oldest son.

"Sorry Kenny" I say as I place down a +4 before his turn.

"This is cheating!" He declared after pouting.

Ms. Ohshiba ended up winning the hand.

Everyone goes to bed not long after. I sit on the mattress and look out the window next to me. The rains picked up and I watched as droplets race down the window. Kou hugs me from behind and I melt into his arms. His warm embrace is enough to light a match. I turned around to face him and cuddled up, resting my chin on his shoulder. I would take a bullet for this man, I love him with all my heart.

"I love you" I said while holding onto him like a Koloa.

"I love you too" he replied.

I want to talk to him about what's going on in my head.

"Kou?"

"Yeah"

"Thank you. Thank you for being so patient with me."

"What'd you mean?"

"Ever since the incident, I worry that you'll get tired of waiting for me and move on."

"There's no way that would happen. Why were you even think about that?"

"We haven't had sex in a while because of me."

"Masa, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you understand that your mental health is way more important than that!"

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Masa, the most important thing in my life is you. It will always be you. I love you. I never want to put you in a position that you might feel the slightest hint of uncomfortably. You mean the absolute world to me and I would sell my soul to make you happy and to stay by your side."

"Kousuke?"

"Yes, my love"

"I- I wanna do it"

"Are you sure? You know you don't have t-"

"I know, I want to do this"

"Alright, but the moment you start to feel uncomfortable or upset tell me and I'll stop immediately. Ok?"

"Ok. I'm nervous, but I'm also excited."

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you. My love, my one and only."