Hitorijime My Hero

Nightmares

TW: PTSD FLASHBACKS AND MENTIONS OF PAST R@PE

Kousuke had work today, I got to stay at home because my classes were over. It was weird being at home by myself, but I guess I wasn't totally alone since the animals were with me. I thought I'd busy myself with some cleaning and grocery shopping, but that lasted all of two hours and I still had the house to myself for another four. There wasn't anything interesting on the television, I had already taken Shigeo on a walk, and there was nothing more to unpack. What do people do when there's nothing to do? If I take a nap I won't be able to sleep tonight. I ended up looking up "things to do when bored" which led be down a rabbit hole of origami. An hour passes and I've made 50 paper starts. I spent another hour painting my nails becauseI haven't had time to fix up the black polish. Now I had to find a way to fill up the last two hours. I decided to clean up the basement a bit, reorganize the paints, fold up the drop cloth, and make sure all my brushes were clean. By the time I had finished I heard Kousuke's car pull into the parking spot, finally, I was getting bored without him. He walked in and I greeted him at the door. He kissed my forehead before putting his briefcase in his office and changed into comfortable clothes.

"So what'd you do while I was gone?" Kou asked as he took a seat on the couch.

"Nothing much, it was weird having all that free time and having the house to myself" I replied as I sat next to him.

"I'm glad to hear that" Kou said pulling me closer into him.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because for most of your life you were alone and you were used to it. It was a constant for you, but now it's not. You shouldn't be used to being alone, because now you have me"

"Why are you always so right about everything?"

"Because I'm a teacher, and because I love you"

"I love you too"

We sat in the comfortable silence for a while as I let his words sink in. Have I really be so lonely my whole life that I had gotten numb to it? When I first met the Ohshiba family I noticed how energetic they all were in their own ways. I felt so out of place because I didn't have the energy of Kensuke, the positivity of Mom, or the self confidence of Kousuke. I was nothing more than a cat Ken picked up off the street someday. Sasa and I aren't so different; we were abandoned, alone, crying out for help. Kensuke saved us both. I owe a lot to him.

"I owe a lot to your brother"

"Huh? What'd he do?"

"He saved me and Sasa. He's the reason I met you and had a place to go, my first real friend too. I need to thank him some day"

"Do you? It might just stroke his ego"

"Like you have any room to talk" I replied, playfully pushing him off me.

Kousuke laughed and we started cooking dinner together, although Kou being the semi-perverted man he is would often make jokes about "eating me instead of the food". We finished dinner and had ice pops as we watched a few episodes of a show we've been binging. It was midnight when we headed upstairs and into our room. Kou fell asleep instantly and I fidget with my phone until I tired myself out.

Next thing I know I'm in a bathroom, but not just any bathroom, the bathroom of the ramen shop. Everything came flooding back to me, I was naked on the floor kicking and screaming. I know it's a dream, but it feels so real. The cold tile on my back, the smell of bathroom cleaner, and his touch seemed all too realistic. Even in this version, I couldn't save myself or gain the courage to pick up the phone. Why? Why am I such a helpless human being?