when we were enemies ~ hyunlix

twenty five

hyunjin slowly bent down and took me off his back and onto a near bench. I looked at him in confusion half my eyes open, half of them closed.

"you don't know what you're saying felix" he said sitting down next to me.

"I do" I replied, my hands slowly travelling up to hyunjins arms then his neck.

he was looking everywhere else except me, my eyes.

"look at me" I placed my thumb on his chin and moved it to become face to face with me, now making eye contact.

(a/n: JUST LOOK AT ME BABY DAY AND NIGHT)

I leaned in slowly creating tension between the two of us when hyunjin stopped me.

"felix, I don't think this is a good idea" he said placing his hands on top of mine.

without taking in what he just had told me I placed my lips on. this was a new feeling I had unlocked for the both of us, his lips were so soft  and felt it like two pillows on mine, the kiss was not sexual at all, it was just a regular kiss— at least that's what I think since I was drunk.

I pulled away until I noticed hyunjin didn't kiss me back and it made me annoyed at his action.

"kiss me back" I said as I reconnected our lips together and this time he actually did what I said.

I was way too drunk that my brain wasn't working properly, but I knew exactly what was happening right now.

him kissing back unlocked another new feeling to me. he kissed me back like he was so desperate for me.

hyunjin broke the kiss and looked at me.

"felix" he said panting like he just ran a hundred miles.

"it was good wasn't it?" I said as I pucked my lips jokingly making him giggle.

"are you even aware of what just happened?" he questioned.

I nodded my head while smiling and he scoffed. my eyebrows furrowed thinking he was actually annoyed about us kissing.

I was still drunk but not as much as before.

"I think by the looks of it, you're fine to walk by yourself right?" he said standing up and starting to walk off.

"um no, I still want you to carry me" I chased after him and interlinked our arms.

"my back hurts lix from already carrying you" hyunjin said put his other arm on his back motioning that his back aches.

"fine" I replied and we walked home— to hyunjin's house with our arms still interlinked until we reached his house.

"you can act like this place is your second home since you've been here many times" he said locking the front door after we entered.

—

"this is too hard, I can't do it" I said throwing the pencil on the notebook. hyunjin decided it was a good idea for the two of us to draw something.

"felix just put your mind to it" he said as he continued his drawing which looked like a side profile of a person.

I noticed he kept looking back and forth at the reference on his phone which was me. my side profile.

how did he even get that photo?

"hey how do you have that photo of me?" I asked him pointing at his phone when he looked at me.

"I took it when you were drunk and you didn't notice" he replied sketching my lips. I was now sober and I do not remember him taking that picture.

it was almost 2 am when sleep got the best of me and I drifted off without realising. as I was about to fall into deep sleep I felt hyunjin pick me up and put me inside the bed sheets, he caressed my hair.

why do I feel this way? whenever I'm with him, I feel different, I feel like he's now a part of me. what is this feeling?

does he feel the same way?

great felix, you was supposed to be mad at him but look where you are now. at his house in his bed sleeping. why is it every time I try my best to avoid him he pops up in front of me, he's a curse.

—

TW
"felix open the door please" he screamed banging on the door repeatedly as blood oozed out from my arms.

he could hear my sobs, he probably thinks I'm weak and a loser now. as much as I hated seeing blood I kept on sliding the blade across my smooth skin, it wasn't painful anymore nor did it sting.

hyunjin on the other side of the door was begging me to stop and open the door but I couldn't bring myself together. I tried standing up but my legs were shaking and hurting.

he started to break the door by slamming himself on it a couple of times for the lock to break.

"hyunjin stay away!" I cried.

there goes my tears again. me crying like a stupid lonely child. I was carving my skin off like how people would carve a pumpkin for halloween.

I ran the blade over my skin a few more times while sobbing when hyunjin broke the door open. I didn't dare to look at him, I felt disgusted in myself to look at him.