when we were enemies ~ hyunlix

twenty three

me
hyunjin... I'm sorry.
sent 6:15 pm

I didn't know what to say.

he probably just guilt tripped me into thinking he was actually hurting on the inside. what if he isn't and he's just using me?

hyunjin wouldn't do that right..?

I left my phone on my bed and went downstairs to eat something since the last time I ate was over four hours ago.

"I'm going to school tomorrow" I said to myself while walking down the stairs.

—

I got done doing my skincare in my bathroom and then headed back into my room then downstairs.

I decided on walking today since I couldn't be bothered to go on the crowded bus. when I reached my first period I instantly sat down in my seat and put my head down.

what the point of coming to school if you're just going to sleep? I don't actually know.

jisung later on came and sat down next to me. he asked me about the situation I had with hyunjin and if I was doing alright and I simply explained to him.

—

TW

"I will betray you"

my voice was shaky as I gulped trying to prevent my tears.

"if you do, you will betray yourself at the same time"

he looked at me with watery eyes, he was also going to cry.

he kept grabbing my arms but I kept on pushing him away.

he kept trying to apologise but I kept cutting him off.

"you mind as well take my heart with you felix, it's already full of you"

"you don't know what you're saying hyunjin"

he hesitantly backed away from me as tears rolled down his cheeks and droplets of sweat on his forehead.

"you mean you're actually going to kill me?"

"I mean just that"

"well... go ahead"

"I'll do this my own way"

I couldn't bring myself together.
my breath became unsteady.

"you won't do it, you can't pull the trigger. you can't pull it because you love me, it takes a very brave and a very cold one to do that felix I don't think you can. isn't that true? isn't that why you're waiting"

"that's not true"

my grip tighten on the gun I was holding as my hands were uncontrollably shaking.

"you don't think I'll do it? that's why you're so brave, you wouldn't be so brave otherwise, you're a cold hearted person. you lied to me, you deceived me"

"you tried deceiving me"

"I'm tired of listening to you!"

"you gave me your heart you know? you like for me to hand it back, whole again? but I won't"

I shakily lifted my arm up and aimed the gun towards hyunjin.

"just stop this already. you know that you can't pull the trigger so stop lying to yourself"

"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!"

right when I was about to pull the trigger, I heard my name being called over and over again but it wasn't hyunjin. it was another voice calling out for me sounding desperate.

"felix"

I looked around and there was no one to be seen. when I turned back to hyunjin he was gone. he had disappeared.

"hyun-"

"FELIX!"

I woke up gasping for air.

I looked around my surroundings and I completely forgot that I was in school.

"you had another nightmare didn't you?" jisung questioned me.

I nodded my head while trying to catch catch my breath. I was sweating a lot.

"why am I sweating so much?" I said wiping off my sweat with the back of my hand.

"you also were repeating hyunjin's name and your eyebrows kept furrowing" jisung added.

"I was?" I asked him rubbing the back of my neck.

did anybody else hear it?
was I being too loud?

the school bell rang and everyone started to leave the classroom while I just sat there comprehending the dream I just had.

jisung motioned me to get out and go outside.

"you're so obsessed with that hyunjin guy" he said being a bit too loud.

"no I'm not, you must be crazy" I said slapping the back of his head.

"felix I'm never wrong, don't come running to me when something else happens between you two again" jisung finished while rubbing the back of his head.

"as if" I scoffed.

—

it was the end of the school day, me and jisung decided on going to a club minho had invited us to. I wasn't planning on going but jisung begged me to go with him.

minho told us to be there at around 7:30 pm, latest 7:50 pm which meant that I had three hours to get ready— that was plenty enough time.

I had laid down on my bed for an hour and a half so I decided on to start getting ready.

I examined my closest looking for an outfit to wear when and idea popped up in my head.

I had a white silky blouse and a pair of black jeans that would go well together— that was my outfit. I applied some light pink lip balm and face cream, I don't regularly do makeup I'm not used to it so I only put a little bit of sliver eyeshadow on to match my blouse.

I sprayed on perfume and then went downstairs, put my shoes on and finally ready to leave.