when we were enemies ~ hyunlix

twenty six

"no felix stop" he said holding my hands to prevent myself from cutting. he took the blade out of my hands and threw it somewhere without looking which the blade landed in the sink.

I couldn't control my sobs, I was crying like a freak. I looked like a freak and hyunjin was in front of me, on the floor holding my hands.

"lix why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked me. I didn't answer him, instead I tried to push his hands off of mine but he tightened his grip.

he let go of my hands and embraced me while one hand was on the back of my head stroking my hair and the other was around my waist. he rested his head on my shoulder and I did the same.

I cried and cried non stop and he continued to stoke my hair gently.

"why are you hurting yourself lix? don't do this to your precious self, I'm always here for you and I will care about you and love you. so please stop hurting yourself felix, it hurts me too" he said squeezing my weak, fragile body.

I hugged him back but I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel his body hugging me, I couldn't feel his warm breathe near my neck and I couldn't hear him. nothing

what is happening..?

"hyunjin? where are you?" I looked around the bathroom and he wasn't there. the blade was gone too. that can't be.

"felix" that was hyunjin's voice. I could hear now all of a sudden. his voice sounded faint and soft but far away but yet still so close.

"felix wake up" he said.

"hyunjin?" there was no answer.

"HYUN-"

"FELIX" I woke up to hyunjin aggressively shaking me with a concerned expression.

"are you okay?" he said caressing my hair into his palms.

"yeah it's just another nightmare, can you please bring me a glass of water so I to calm down" I asked him wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.

he quickly got up and filled an empty glass that he had on his desk with the big water bottle and handed it to me. I thanked him and chugged the water down in less than twenty seconds.

"maybe wash your face so it can help even more" hyunjin mentioned. I nodded and went over to his bathroom splashing a handful of cold water onto my face which made my tensed shoulder relaxed.

hyunjin opened the door and checked up on me to see if I was doing well, I smiled at him in return and used one of his spare towels he had hanging.

"would you mind telling me the nightmare you had?" he asked me as I was wiping my face with the towel.

oh. I don't think I can hyunjin sorry.

"uhm. it's hard to explain" I answered putting the towel back in its place.

"try your best to explain I'm a good listener" he reassured me. the truth was that I am scared of how he would react to the 'nightmare' I had.

what if he thinks I'm an actual freak?

"I'm sorry hyunjin I don't want to" I said walking past him and entering his room again.

"oh it's okay, just make sure it doesn't circle in your head too much" he replied closing the bathroom door after I left.

I walked over to his bed again and I realised that the drawing of my side profile was nearly done. I guess he continued drawing it while I was asleep having that nightmare.

my eyebrows lifted in surprise because of how good his drawing skills was.

"do you want it?" hyunjin broke the silence after seeing me staring at his notebook for a few minutes.

"huh, oh can I?" I asked him and he nodded while smiling.

I accidentally got too excited and smiled a bit too hard showing my pearly white teeth while carefully examining the small details he had drawn.

I heard him chucked to himself while looking at me like a lost cat.

"you're so cute sometimes that you make me want to squeeze you" hyunjin said as he walked over to his bed and sat down next to me and the next thing he did was squeeze my soft cheeks.

and then there's me blushing over his small stupid acts again, we made eye contact and his eyes were luminous, so pretty, so warm I could never find the correct words to explain him.

"are my eyes that attractive to you?" he joked with me while waving his hand in my face to distract me.

"shut up" I hit him playfully making him act hurt dramatically. I giggled at his actions and he laughed back.

what is this feeling.
it's a feeling I never want to let go of,
a feeling that I want to feel everyday,
a feeling that I never want it to disappear.

"I could say the same thing about your eyes, not attractive, but I get lost in your eyes felix" he blurted while ruffling my short blonde hair and making it all messy.

"enough hyunjin" I said fixing my hair and breaking eye contact.

"so cute of you that you can't keep eye contact with me and get all nervous and shy" hyunjin said as he grabbed his pencil and continued to sketch his drawing of me.