Asher the Insane

42 - The Medallion Party

"Company- Halt! And keep in formation!" Mine ordered, "Thakin, Yam, Asharis, Vethra, attention!"

"You don't have to remind us every minute that we have to 'keep in formation', Mine. That's the problem with you humans. You believe you can simply order around every other race all the time," Asharis hissed back at him.

"And that coming from an elf?" Thakin, who could be best described as a beard walking on two feet, mocked her, "ye tree-thumping, waste-of-immortality, knife-ears always think that you're so superior te everyone else's."

"Oh, and you think that your cave-dwelling, rock-humping, gold-mongering culture is so refined, dwarf?

"Ah give ya two out of three on. The goblins are the gold-mongers, not us," Thakin clarified

"That's unfair, Thakin. That's just how we are," Vethra remarked. "Do you honestly believe that we can just cease our desire for gold and other dazzling objects? It would be the same as telling a dwarf to stop growing a beard. It would be completely absurd.

"Aye, that much is true. But I got no damned problems with ye gobs, just one maybe. If ye sticky-handed, green-skinned, scaleless-kobolds could keep yer filthy hands off me pockets, I would appreciate it.

"I would never try to take anything from my buddies," Vethra chuckled nervously.

"Who I do actively have problems with are the elves," the dwarf said as he looked at Asharis. "I hate how smug ye guys are, especially the women-folk. Ah don't know how male elves deal with you, if I could tell you apart. None of you got any balls. The only indicator is how annoying you are and you, Asharis, must be a woman because your obnoxiousness is far off the chart."

"Oh wow, your ego must be at least a foot taller than you, little man," Asharis retorted, "elves can be prideful. That is something even I must admit, but there is no shame in that. We elves have much to be proud of. Our culture, our way of life, is something the other races have always been jealous of, for thousands of years now."

"And whaddya have to show for the thousands of years? You continue to favor living in trees. Ta elves don' have any original innovations to claim for 'emsleves. Every time one of the other species makes anything for the benefit of all, you elves just oh-so happen to use it, but the creations of the elves are kept secret from the rest of us. Funny how these things work, eh?"

"We Goblins also try to help other races wherever we can- when it's not a matter of gold," Vethra said, "though our own inventions are as explosive as our minds are. My uncle was an inventor. He died not too long ago in his lab, surrounded by sixteen sheep, eighteen hundred spoons, and two tons of explosives. He always used to say, 'When goblins get their hands on anything, they try tinker with it until they either understand how it works or it's broken'."

"Yeah, and usually the things end up broken," Asharis said, and even Thakin had to agree.

"Can you all, please, just shut the hell up!" Mine yelled out, beginning to be fed up once again. Every time Asharis or Thakin spoke out, there was a disagreement that followed.

"No one is beneath, or superior, to anyone here. And Asharis, I have you know I served in the army for thirty years. It's not how humans are, but what my experiences had molded me into."

"Twenty years? That's how old my baby sister is," the elf burst out in laughter, even wiping a small tear from the eye, "I always forget how short humans' lives are. Not as short as dwarves' are, but still short enough."

"ALWAIS A 'PRISE WEN DA OTA RACEZ FITE BOUT TINGZ TAT AIN'T DA FIGHT. DA ORKS NEVA FINK BAUT CULCHA NOR NOFFIN. ITZ ALWAIS BOUT TA FITE," Yam yelled, or that is what everyone else had thought.

It was Yam's usual speaking voice to himself. No non-orc should ever wish to hear an orc genuinely shout.

"Is there a way to silence the orc?" Asharis covered her long ears.

Mine whispered a tiny prayer, "Oh Lady Alexandra, lead us and help us achieve in our mission without dying."