Why her? |Jude Bellingham x Reader|

20.

14th of February, 2009

Dear diary,

I just came back from school! It was so fun today! I had arts lesson with some of my friends, and I must say, it was cool! My friend, Jude, drew me a pink flower with little red hearts around. It was "boyfriend and girlfriend" day, or Valentines day, and he asked me to be his girlfriend..? Then my other friend, Trent, did the same. I didn't know what to do so I just said no to both, and told them to leave. I love my friends so much. I hope my writing is better and my english too, Mr. Diary....

Love you, Y/n <3.

~~~~~~~~

Y/n's POV

-I don't trust him near us!!!- Said Jude while looking towards Neymar. Honestly I didn't care anymore, it's like Jude was paying more attention to him than me!

Plus, we are just there talking now, we have finished eating and we have also payed for everything.

-Can you shut up for a second? Im trying to think.- I snapped. I wasn't thinking about anything, actually. Just wanted him go be quiet.

-..Sorry, I just want to leave.

-Then leave.- I didn't mean that, I just couldn't bare to hear him for any longer.

He slowly got up and left the restaurant. I didn't know what to do, my body kind of froze as the sentence I said kept replaying inside my head, like a broken disc.

I didn't want him to leave, really! I just didn't want him to keep talking about Neymar and about leaving. I just wanted him to give me attention, just a little bit.

I left the restaurant aswell and saw that Jude was still there, resting by one of the trees. His head was low, like he was thinking about what just happened.

-You know...maybe we should...take a break.- ...WHAT?! Where the hell did this come from?

-Huh? What do you mean?

-Listen, I've been thinking about this for   some time now, and with all the matches I have going on I don't think I'll have time for you. I also just...

No. From that point on I didn't hear anything else. I don't care. I don't understand, and I don't want to understand. It doesn't make sense.

Jude's POV

-I also need to focus on training for the games, it's my job! I'm sorry for this sudden move, I really am, but I can't have you on my mind all the time! While I sleep, when I wake up, when im training, when Im playing.. seriously it's just... Y/n?- She wasn't looking at me.. was she even listening? Maybe this is too much for her..

I gently placed both my hands on her shoulders and looked at her, bringing her attention back.

-This isn't a goodbye, Y/n. I love you with all my heart, I just don't want to put you down for not having time and not giving you affection. I want you, and you only. But right now.. I'm trying to focus on my career... you understand me right, Y/n?

Her eyes filled up with tears, and so did mine, but she tried really hard no to let them fall. It hurts me seeing her like this, but I know that if I didn't do this now it would end up being worst.

-I..understand, Jude.- She started. -Im sorry, I have to go..- Before I could question her she ran away. Shit. I hope this is the right thing to do... 

1 Hour later

Training is amazing, yes, but not when the only thing you can do is remember those eyes. Those teary colorless eyes, and worst part is that I was the one that made them look like that. Eyes that once looked colorful, shiny, sweet and very innocent. I ruined that, me, Jude Victor William Bellingham. 

-Jude? JUDE?

-What?!- It was Trent.

-Can you not leave to your own world right now? Im trying to train and if you don't pass the ball, I swear to god, I will hit you with the ball myself.- He sighed and passed me the ball. What the fuck? I literally just "broke up" with Y/n and Im still getting distracted.

-Sorry..

(Short chapter <3)