What I Should Have Said

26

Mason was resting his eyes. His body slowly felt like it was shutting down every day. He felt like he was slowly losing any will to keep fighting anymore. He heard the door to his room open and slowly opened his eyes. Taylor entered the room and carefully shut the door. "Taylor?" He tiredly asked. "Mr. Hayes." Taylor smiled and approached his bedside. "What are you doing here?" He asked. She pulled up a chair and sat near his bedside.

He looked even worse than the last time she visited. "I heard things weren't going great and I wanted to come see you while I was in town again." She replied. "You know I always appreciate the company, especially if it's from you." He softly smiled. She smiled and gently held his frail hand.

He glanced down at her gentle lively hand holding his weak, almost decaying hand. His eyes began to well up with tears as he thought of Elizabeth. Taylor saw a tear slip from his tired eyes and roll down his cheek. "What's wrong?" She asked with concern.

His eyes remained locked on her hand. "I'm tired." He sighed. She sat in silence and listened. "There is nothing I want more than Betty to be here. It doesn't matter how much she hates me, I still keep trying, and I'll keep trying to make it up to her the best I can until my last dying breath. But sometimes I wonder if dying would just make this all easier for her. She would have one less thing to worry about."

Taylor frowned and shook her head," Don't say that."

"I made life more difficult than it had to be. Her mother left and I couldn't even bother to be a competent enough father for her. I chose to drown and numb my sorrows with alcohol and I wasn't even thinking about how hard all of it must have been on her. She was 12 years old looking after me when I should've been the one looking after her. 20 years later and she's still the one looking after me." He replied. Taylor didn't know what to say. There wasn't much to say.

"I wish she knew I would give every part of me to keep her alive and happy." He sighed.

"Why don't you tell her that?" Taylor asked.

He softly laughed, " I would if she gave me the chance."

Taylor sighed, "Trust me I know the struggle."

He softly smiled and looked over at her. "Tell a dying man a secret?" He asked.

"You're not dying, stop saying that." Taylor slightly scolded.

"Well tell me something I don't know. It'll die with me anyways." He slightly joked.

Taylor fidgeted with her hands. "I'm not sure what you want me to say."

"Anything. It's safe with me." He nodded.

Taylor thought for a moment. Mason waited and watched her. She took a deep breath and exhaled, " I'm in love with Betty." She confessed. She grew anxious from the silence, her heart beating loud enough that she could hear it.

A smile slowly grew on Mason's lips, "I figured."

Taylor looked at him confused by his reaction and response. "You knew?" she asked. He shook his head, "Not exactly, but I did see the way she looked when she would talk about you. I haven't seen her smile like that in ages. Not even for Alex."

Taylor faintly smiled and looked down at her hands, "Yeah but she just pushes me away and tells me she doesn't feel the same." She replied.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I guess she's afraid. But she keeps insisting that she loves him and sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm wasting my time trying." Taylor sighed.

"What do you want from all of this?" Mason asked.

Taylor looked up at him, " I want to marry your daughter."

" Is that a statement or a question?" Mason half-jokingly replied.

Taylor softly laughed, "I know she said yes to Alex, but I have loved her from the moment she said hello and I knew her as my neighbor, to the moment she became my best friend, and 20 years later when I realized I couldn't live without her. It's a long shot and I know dads never think anyone is good enough for their little girls but-" Taylor rambled on.

"Yes." Mason replied before she could finish.

Taylor looked at him surprised, "Yes?" she questioned.

"I couldn't imagine anyone better for her than you." He nodded.

"What about Alex?" Taylor asked.

"He's a nice boy but he wasn't the one who bothered to come and ask my permission for my daughter's hand." Mason replied.

"Thank you Mr. Hayes." Taylor smiled.

"Dad." He corrected and weakly pat her hand.

"Dad?" Taylor asked.

"As far as I'm concerned you're family." He smiled.

"But I haven't even asked her yet." Taylor replied.

"No. But if I run the risk of going at any moment...I'd rather go with the belief that I gained another daughter who I know will look after and love mine." He replied, "But she really does need someone. That's why I'm glad it'll be you."

"Did something happen?" Taylor asked.

Mason sighed, "Eleanor came back. I don't think she's been doing well."

"She came back? But Betty never mentioned it?" Taylor questioned.

"Does Betty ever like to talk about anything?" Mason rhetorically asked.

Taylor grew worried. She knew how badly her mother leaving affected her and how hard it must be going through it alone and having no one to lean on. "I should go." Taylor replied and gathered her things. "Taylor?" She rushed over to the door and stopped when Mason called her. "Yes?" She asked.

"Fighting for her isn't easy... but she's worth fighting for." He replied.