de Santis (complete)

chapter nine

jordan cruz

TW TALK OF SELF-HARM

i've been sleeping in my parents room

i know it makes me sound like a little kid but it helps me

i usually sleep on the floor and then when they go down to the their offices to work i climb into there bed and sleep there

but they haven't gone down to work yet so i'm on the floor

i fall back asleep

santiago cruz

i pick jordan up and put him in my bed

"let's just move his mattress in here until he's feeling better"lola says

i clean the cuts on jordans arm and rewrap the bandages

"he's self-harming again lola, maybe we need to talk to him about going to the mental hospital for a bit"i say

"it really helped him last time"i add

lola hugs our sleeping son and sighs "my strong boy"she says

jordan cruz
lunch

i wake up to my mom's high heels clicking

"bueno tu despieto como te sientes carino"mama says

"me siento bien"i mumble as i sit up hugging my knees

"tienes hambre te hice algo de almuerzo"mama says

i'm not hungry but i need to try, i need to try so i don't make my mom cry again

"que hiciste?"i ask mama smiles

"te hice macarrones con queso"mama says

she knows mac and cheese if my comfort food after an episode

i get up and walk down to the kitchen with my mama

my dad fills me a plate and hands me a plastic fork

i don't blame them for changing the silverware

i used to stab myself in the hand with forks

"gracias"i mumble as i eat slowly

"i'll be in my office"mama says as she kisses my head i nod

santaigo cruz

"are you still hungry?"i ask jordan shakes his head

"what'd you tell embry and ace to tell noah and muna?"jordan asks

"i told them to tell there kids we took you on a trip"i say jordan nods

"dad"jordan mumbles "what's up?"i ask "i'm sorry i-i relapsed"he says as tears fill his eyes i get up and hug my son tightly

noah de santis

"i wish my parents would take me on a trip randomly"muna says as we into school

arlo holds my hand as we walk to my locker