Hurt | Remus Lupin

~13~ Sara's Discovery

This time, Remus was the one ignoring me. Anytime I'd see him in the hallways, he'd avoid eye contact, or only mumble a small hello.

"What has gotten into Professor Lupin?" asked Percy. "He's acting so strange."

"I wish I knew." I muttered bitterly, staring at the floor. 

In his next class, he walked around to see our progress on a short in-class paper we were writing, and he completely skimmed over mine. 

"You guys go ahead." I said to the boys after class. "I have a question about something."

Ollie and Percy left, leaving me and Remus all alone in the classroom. 

"Your turn to tell me why you've been ignoring me." I said.

He didn't look u at me, where he was busy staring at his papers. "I've just been very busy with work, Miss Finnigan."

Ouch. That stung.

"Well, Professor-" I said, putting emphasis on the word 'professor'.

His eyes snapped up at that and his soft brown gaze met my blue sharp one.

"I just think it's a little strange that you're ignoring me right  after we kissed." I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows.

His cheeks turned bright red at my remark. "I- I just-"

"You shouldn't have kissed me if you were just going to do this!" I cried. "Talk about playing with my feelings much?"

"Look, Sara." he rubbed his eyes. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"Well, you're hurting me by not communicating!" I said angrily. 

"There's a lot on my plate, alright? And it's not just about me being your professor, it's other things-"

"What other things? Let me guess, you have a wife at home? Is that it?" I snarled.

"No! I would never- no." he said firmly. "It's not that. There's no one else, I promise. I just- I'm not a good person. I'm a monster."

I blinked with confusion. "You associate being a bad lover with a monster?"

"Don't say that, lover sounds strange."

"Well, we're not exactly boyfriend girlfriend are we? I don't know what you want me to call us!" 

Why were men so complicated?

"I just, I shouldn't have!" he cried.

"Shouldn't have what?" I said loudly.

"I should never  have kissed you!" Remus yelled.

That felt like a blow to my chest. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes. 

"I'm just trying to protect you." he said softly, reaching out a hand. 

"Don't touch me! I know how you feel. You just thought this was a little game of playing with a stupid seventeen year old girl who was too gullible to realize it's a game."

"No! It's not like that! It's not a game!  I care for you Sara I really do. I'm just doing this for your own good!" He pleaded. "You wouldn't understand!"

"More like for your  own good." I snapped, and with that, I stalked out of his classroom. Tears were forming in my eyes, and by the time I got to the Common Room, I felt like I was about to explode from a mixture of anger, tears, and frustration.

"Goodness, are you alright?" asked Percy, looking at my face. 

He was sitting with Ollie, Harry, Ron and Hermione.