You Have My Devotion- Zarry

We'll be a fine line

The flashes of the night he buried deep inside his brain come rushing back. The memories he had hoped he would forget. Louis accompanied him to the venue because he was too nervous, he shouldn't have. They took a shortcut to check the arrangements at the restaurant, they shouldn't have.

Right at the corner, another car crashed into theirs. The car had brake failure but right before the crash, he could see the fear in Harry's eyes. They were so close before they ended up being farthest from each other.

He remembers screaming at the top of his lungs seeing the love of his life covered in blood. Harry had worn a red suit that day, mixed with his blood the color just made him nauseous. He crawled up to him cradling him in his lap, screaming for help. Trying to keep him awake, telling him how sorry he was, telling him how much he loves him but Harry never returned those words. Everything inside of him crumbled that day.

He blamed himself for what happened to Harry and Louis.

***

Standing at the same place where he had first imagined being with Harry, on the terrace this time Zayn doesn't fight it. The amount of hurt he is carrying inside him maybe only death can make it all go away.

He shouts, and calls for him, in the same way, he did that night. Just like that day, Harry doesn't answer back, how could he? He lost his Harry a long time back.

"Harry, babe. I am so sorry,"

"Zayn," He turns abruptly his eyes following the sound of his voice, and this time he can see Harry, in the same red suit he wore that night with no blood. It's like he is seeing him before the accident. Same green eyes, same smile he moves forward closing the distance between them.

"You ready to accept it now," Zayn just shakes his head in return. "I have waited so long to talk to you about this. I was waiting for you baby,"

"I am so sorry, babe. If I could trade places with you I would believe me I would. I can't do this without you," Harry places his right hand on his cheek, caressing his cheekbone, "Of course, you can,"

"Look at me, imagining you here with me. I am lost without you," He replies placing his hand over Harry's.

Harry kisses the top of his head. "Then let me go."

Zayn shook his head before whispering. "Ask me anything but that. Please."

"But I am already gone, babe. You just have to accept it," Harry slowly wraps his arms around Zayn holding him close. "Besides didn't you always used to say you would fulfill all my wishes? You love to spoil me," Harry is smiling but it's the first time he is unable to make Zayn smile. How can he when he feels like he is losing everything all over again?

"How can I?"

"Because you love me. You loved the museum nerd me and also this one who hates boring historical stuff, remember," He gestures to himself and this time Zayn smiles because it's his only truth.

"I love you. I love every version of you," Both of them stay silent for a while holding each other before Harry breaks it, "You just need help, babe. Everything will be fine with time," he assures him.

Ignoring his words zayn says, "I never got to give it to you. We were supposed to spend the rest of our life--" He chokes out clutching the ring in his hand. The silver band, inscribed with his initials on the inside.

"Shh, it's okay," Zayn shakes his head and hugs him tight.

"It will be okay," He keeps whispering. "You have to get better, Zayn. Promise me"