|Die for you.| Tom Kaulitz

007

Toms head snapped towards me, I swear he almost broke his damn neck. I slapped my hand over my mouth to hide my huge grin. Bill knew knew exactly what he was doing and I loved it. Toms eyes were searing into mine, my grin dropped and I gave him a serious look in return. He just shook his head and left the kitchen.

Bill gave me a shrug and a chuckle with a sly look on his face. I know I shouldn't feel bad considering how mean Tom was last night but he still has feelings. I got up from my seat and followed Tom. Bill just shook his head and scoffed.

I hurried behind Tom as he stomped down the hallway, it's kinda hot when he's pissed. I rushed up in front of him and gave him a sweet smile. His face was hard, but his eyes were sad. I felt bad for antagonizing him.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yes, Ava. You did."

Tom pushed past me and into his room, slamming the door behind him. I sighed and returned to the kitchen.

**

My phone buzzed beside me on the couch, I jumped slightly and picked it up.

-James
(Hey Ava, do you have any plans tonight?)

I pursed my lips and stared at the screen. I haven't left the house in two days and definitely have cabin fever. James was good company.

-Ava
(What do you have in mind?)

-James
(You'll see. I'll see you at 8.)

I set my phone down with a smile on my face, I felt giddy for some reason. I guess it was a good feeling when someone is nice to you.

**

I dried off from the shower and wrapped my towel around my body. I stepped out if the bathroom to find an outfit to wear. As i was walking towards my bedroom there was a soft knock at my door. I paused and took a few small steps forward. Another knock.

"Who is it?" I leaned my ear close to the door.

"It's me, Please let me in."

Tom.

I sighed and cracked the door open, Tom was standing in my doorway almost slumped over. He was definitely drunk. He raised his head slightly and looked at me, a smirk growing on his face. I scoffed and tightened the towel around my body.

"What do you want?" I said with a stern tone.

He just smiled and bit his lip. I gave him a push and he stumbled a little before catching himself in the door frame.

"I uh.. I wanted to see you" He blurted out.

I was kind of taken back by his soft tone, I opened my mouth to speak when I felt Toms heavy body stumble into me. He groaned and gripped onto me for support. I walked him over to the couch and he practically fell into it.

"Give me a minute I need to get dressed."

"Why? I don't mind you like this." Tom said from his sprawled out position on the couch. He tried to sit up but accepted that it was better for him to stay still. I chuckled lightly and made my way to my bedroom. I put on a loose fitting pale pink dress and some sandals. My hair was in a braid and my makeup was light and natural. I walked back out to see Tom in the exact same spot as before.

"Wow. You didn't have to dress like that for me." He said in a low tone, his eyes following my every move. I grabbed my wallet, phone, and house keys. I stood in front of the mirror and checked my hair and straightened out my dress.

"Im not, you ass. James is taking me out tonight." I smiled at myself in the mirror, I definitely looked good tonight. Tom groaned in an almost disgusted tone. I looked at Tom in the mirror to see him laying on a pillow, cuddling it. It was kind of cute, but he was drunk and not himself.

"That's stupid. He's stupid." Tom said in between sighs. I fully turned to face him and took a few steps forward. He lifted his head off the pillow and a small grin appeared on his face.

"Well, what would you like me to do Tom? Tell him i'm no longer interested? Be your side chick?" I yelled. He was started to piss me off with his attitude. Tom finally sat up and stared at me with anger in his eyes. I felt more timid now, I don't know how he's going to react especially now that he's shit faced.

"Ava, you are on thin ice here. Don't push it." Tom growled.

"Why? Because you can't handle the fact that i would actually go for the nice guy over you?"

Tom shot up from the couch, he barely seemed drunk now as he stomped towards me. I stood my ground and stood firmly in my place.

"No, I can't handle the fact that somebody else could get the chance to hold your hand, kiss your lips, make you scream their name for fucks sake. I want to be the one to do that. I want you all to myself!" Tom was yelling now. Every word coming out of his mouth hitting me like a punch to the ribs.

"But i'm the asshole right? I'm the guy that gets left on the back burner for the kind, gentle guy who will kiss your ass for the rest of eternity." Toms voice boomed in my ears, his tall figure towering over mine. In all honesty i didn't like being confronted like this, but I needed to be an adult about this. I stood up straight and looked Tom directly in the eyes.

"Tom, I am done having this conversation with you. Please go." I took in a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest. Toms face dropped to sadness, he shook his head and stepped away from me.

"Okay" Was all he said before disappearing out of the door and leaving me to myself. I dropped my stern demeanor and let my body collapse onto the couch beside me. I dropped my head into my hands and ket out a trapped exhale. My phone buzzed beside me.

-James
(Hey, sweetheart. I have to reschedule. Sorry.)

I just threw my phone onto the table and curled up on the couch. I felt an aching in my heart as i stared at nothing. I felt like I made a big mistake just now. I pulled the pillow under my head and got a blast of Toms cologne. The pillow was now forever tainted with the smell of him, reminding me of the relationship we'll never have.

Everything was so quiet, too quiet. I tossed and turned for hours before deciding sleep wasn't going to happen. I pulled myself up from the couch and turned on the TV.

I stared at that screen for hours, watching a bunch of random shows and eating snacks. I didn't feel sad but I didn't feel particularly happy either. I just felt lost, confused mostly. Why couldn't I just accept that Tom wasn't good for me and move on? He had some weird control over me if I liked it or not. That didn't matter anymore though, I had to do what is right for me.