The wild side// Y/n x Nikki sixx

Tragedy

(Saturday 8th December 1994) (long chapter)

I woke up in Nikki's arms, I never felt to happy that he was there, I ignored my body calling for me to go to the bathroom and just lay with him, resting my head on his chest, rubbing my hand up and down his back as my ear leaned on his bare chest

"Y/n..."

"Yea Nikki" I mumble not even moving my head

"I need to tell you something, I just can't live with myself not telling you this"

"What is it" I sit back now looking at him

"Y/n... I... oh my how do I say this" He groans rubbing his eyes as he sat up

"Say it.." I mutter

"Y/n just please know I love you so much and I did not do this to hurt you, that's why I'm.. telling you because I feel like I'm lying to you which I don't want to do... so I just have to say it" He stutters

"Your scaring me, what did you do?"

"I umm I slept with someone... else... a woman, a drug dealer, we were high and I know that isn't a excuse.."

"Nikki stop, you... you cheated on me" I sob "Just give me a minute" I shook my head unable to keep eye contact with him "I just... was she the only one?"

"Yes... I swear" He sniffles

"Why... why though, why did you do it?"

"I wish I knew the answer to that, but I don't because I wasn't thinking, it's like my brain wasn't working and my body was just living for me, which is basically what was happening because I was high on... on um, heroin..."

"What.." I turned to face him, the tears streaming my face "Nikki are you serious, that shit can kill you"

"I know.. I'm sorry"

"If your sorry then why do you do it"

"Because I'm addicted, I started about a month or so ago when she offered it to me, I just went for cocaine but I tried it... I smoke it... and um yesterday we both got really high and she started to well hit on me and my drugged up brain let her... then we"

"Nikki please don't finish that sentence" I sob

"Y/n please don't be mad at me" He holds my chin in his hand making me look at him

"I'm not... I just I don't know how to feel right now, like you said! you said you would never do that but you did!, you talked to me yesterday like shit acting like you did nothing wrong but... but you did!" I can't hold back anymore anger, fear, sadness just took over my whole body

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying that..."

"But it's true, I talked to Tommy about it and he told me to tell you when I'm sober and now I have... I seriously couldn't stand myself... talking to you about kids... thinking about our future... I just couldn't take it thinking that this stupid mistake could ruin that"

"Nikki... It won't ruin that, because as upset as I am, I can't leave you, your my whole world, I found you when I really needed to and you saved me, more times than I can even imagine and I don't want this to change things at all, but it'll be hard to forget, but I do trust you and I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose" I try to wipe away my tears

"That's right.. I never wanted to hurt you"

"I know.." I softly nod

"Please forgive me"

"...Ok..." I lean into his chest, in a daze, hardly thinking, until I feel his arms grip tightly around me, my whole body sinks into his, feeling every tear filled breath he took as my head leant on his chest