It's not always Black and White

"I feel like we left on the wrong foot."

Bea's POV
-6am

It's been 4 days since we've returned from Thailand. I haven't spoken to Ryan since the last day, I'm still undeniably in love with Josh. I fully made up with Steph and I'm still great friends with Grace.

Oh and Josh and I have basically moved in together. It's a big step, but I'm ready. I've told my mum, she doesn't agree although she is willing to try.

His clothes are at mine, and some of mine are at his. But it's mostly when we feel like it, but because of school I don't think he'll be around that much.

Today, I'm waking up by myself. Surprisingly. It's my first day back at school, I'm nervous but I'm ready.

"Hey Alexa, play pink and white by Frank Ocean."

Music has a way of awakening my soul like no other. As soon as I press play on my Frank Ocean playlist, I get an instant rush of motivation and energy that allows me to start my day on the right note. It's almost like a ritual now; I turn on the music and begin to apply my makeup.

I don't think I'd be able to get ready without music. It's almost like it's a part of me now; I'm not sure if I could even function without it. Music sets the atmosphere for my day and gives me a sense of purpose. It's like a form of escapism for me, and it helps me start my day off on the right foot. I'm not sure if I'm the only one that needs music to get ready, but I do know that without it, I'd probably rather die.

Grace calls me, "Hey Bea, do you want to go to school together today?"

"Yep. Sounds great!"

I quickly put on my shoes and head outside.

"Are you excited for the first day back?"

"Well, no and yes. I'm scared to see Ryan."

"There's nothing to be scared about, he fucked up, not you."

"Yeah, I know."

I'm so scared to see Ryan. I can't avoid him forever, but I'm dreading the moment I have to see him in school. I know he still loves me and it's so hard to face him, knowing that he still has feelings for me.

We both have happy relationships now, but I'm so angry at him for kissing me when he knew I was in a good place. It's like he didn't care about my relationship with Josh and was trying to sabotage it.

We arrive at school, "It's time to face him."

We meet Josh and Theo at the gates, "Hey girls,"

"Hey Josh,"

It feels nice being in love, I think I could get used to this.

"Bea, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You look a bit- nervous."

"I'm fine, just a bit worried to see Ryan."

"Why it'll be fine. I'll be with you, the whole day today."

—11am

It's history now, I spend it sitting next to some random girl. Telling me about her amazing experience of losing her virginity. Oh, how the teenage years never fail to amaze me.