The Only Cure

Episode 47

Lauren: Babe, calm down, I am addicted to you, I love you more than life itself. I know nicotine ruins and destroys peoples lives, you don't think I know that? You don't think I thought about how bad it was for me to be puffing away when Christina found me? I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. I'm such a loser and a disappointment. i don't know why so many of the fans look up to me, I'm nobody worth idolizing.

*Lauren's POV*
I start bawl out crying pulling my knees up to my chest with my head down. I begin mumbling to myself " I'm such a ruiner, I will never be good enough, I don't deserve to be loved."
* END OF POV *
Christina: Lauren, please don't cry hun, it's okay, we are here to help you. Please let us help you.
Katherine: Ready guys I whisper, 1, 2, 3
All: When will you realize, baby your worth it, you don't have to do anything to earn it, baby your perfect, you deserve it, when will you see what I see, and realize your worth it!
Lauren: Thank you guys I say tearfully. Babe, I love you with my whole entire heart, I can't live without you and I truly mean that. I know I keep making the same mistakes. I really do want to get clean and become healthy again, I want our fans to look up to me and I want to be a positive role model. Even though the fans don't know I smoke, I'd like to quit for myself and those that I love including you. My trichotillomania has gotten worse, I can't help myself sometimes, I just love the sensation of rubbing my eyelash and eyebrow follicles on my lips and chewing on them. I know it's not good for me though. It's time for me to get clean, I just don't know where to start, please forgive me babe and Christina, Kath, Lisa and Amy.
Lexi: aww come here baby, gives me kisses, I press my lips against Lauren's happily. I forgive you baby, I know it's the addiction that's been controlling you, I will always be here for you baby.
Everyone: We love you baby sis!
Lauren: Thanks guys, I want to start off on the right path so here are all the lighters and cigarettes, here's my JUUL and my NOVO, please let me keep the herbal cigarettes though.
Christina: I'm so proud of you Laur! We love you Lauren!
Lauren: Christina, can I go smoke a herbal cigarette just to clear my head?
Dani: Laurennnn, can we go to In & Out Burger pleaseeee! I want to spend a day with you and you only.
Lauren: Okay, I can't say no to you baby sis, Lexi, I will be back soon, gimmie kiss I say as I passionately kiss her lips. I love you baby!
Lexi: Not as much as I love you!!!
Lauren: Hop in my Tesla. What do you say we maybe go to the beach first?
Dani: I'd love that!
Lauren: Alright, let me just light up this herbal ciggy and then we can get going.
Dani: You need some help lighting that silly? That's why you shouldn't have put your car into reverse until you lit the cigarette.
Lauren: Thanks Dan Dan, can you light it a little bit more, I'm just tasting the paper and not the herbs.
Dani: Oh, sorry Laur, let me help you, here you go, is that better?
Lauren: Yes it is, thank you I say puffing away.
Dani: Your so funny the way you dangle the cigarette while you drive.
Lauren: Sorry Dan, I just can't help it, it's so good. Oh man, that cigarette really made me sleepy, I'm sorry Dani, maybe we can go home and door dash In & Out Burger?
Dani: Works for me, come on let's get going sleepyhead.

* five minutes later *
Lauren: We are home! Hi baby! Come here my love, I'm deprived of your lips!
Lexi: You are? You are?! Come here babe! I missed you so so so much, how are you feeling my love?
Lauren: I'm feeling really good, no withdrawal symptoms yet, I feel great.

2 weeks later...
Lexi: Babe, haven't you been sober for 2 weeks?
Lauren: Yeah, and?
Lexi: Oh my goodness babe, come hereee, I'm so proud of you, why didn't you tell me, mwah mwah, mwah. I'm so fricken proud of you!!
Lauren: Thanks baby, but please don't remind me, it's been really difficult to stay clean I say fidgeting with my lighter, I'd kill for some nicotine right now ughhh, please god take me out of my internal suffering.
Lexi: Babe, hand me the lighter, here let me light this for you my beautiful angel. Is that better babe?
Lauren: I guess, thanks for trying to make me feel better baby but all the herbal cigarettes in the world won't make me feel as good as a cigarette containing nicotine. I need it so bad I whine.