{𝕰𝖛𝖎𝖑 𝕋.ℝ}

Chapter 33

My fault

"I love you Tom."

It was barely a whisper. A breath. No one could've heard it if the world around them was not so quiet.

He could just pretend he didn't hear it. Pretend like it was not directed to him. Pretend like this never happened and just leave the room and never, never look at her again.

He thought about it again. He was the one who had asked her if she loved the other guy like she loved him. He had assumed she had loved him even before she said anything. He was the one who initiated the thought. He had accepted it already. So why was it so hard now that she said the words clearly. They had not payed attention to it when they let the nasty word slip before.

But the way his hands trembled and his mouth went dry, there was no pretending, no escaping this. His heart was going to jump out of his chest, it beat so fast that he felt like he will faint if it continued this way.

He removed his shakey limbs from around her and somehow made it out of the room without knocking anything over with how he couldn't stand properly or walk straight with his legs giving up on themselves.

"No,no,no,no,no.." that was the only thing on his mind as he made it out of the Nott manor and into the garden hoping to get away from her scent, her words and her. He couldn't walk anymore, falling to the ground he couldn't breath. His eyes were wide and his mouth was hung open in desperation to get even little amount of air into his lungs.

The pain in his chest was immense. He clutched his chest and squeezed his eyes shut before gasping for air. Breathing became impossible as he let out groans and grunts of pain.

He was panicking and Azazel was not here to comfort him.

"No..." By now his face was covered with sweat and mud as he twisted and turned on the ground.

How can she love him? No one can love him. He was a monster. He did not care about anyone but himself and love was the last thing he wanted.

In his life, there has been every emotions, anger, hate, rage, even happiness sometimes but never love. Love was never a part of his life. No one loved him nor did he love anyone.

Love made one weak. It was weakness and Tom Riddle did not take weakness very well. He hated love. Love was what made him an orphan, it made him lonely and hopeless, it was not there when he needed it the most. Love got his mother killed, it made him emotionless, made him a vessel of nothing but hate and anger.

Where was love when the world around him stomped it's hateful feet on him? When he had nothing but himself and the unknown powers? When everyone around him called him crazy and a lunatic for being different? When the world treated him like he was filth and dirt?

Tom Riddle had no one but himself over the years he grew up into this monster he called himself. No one loved him, not even himself. But it made sense, who would love someone like him? Someone who was broken beyond repair. Someone who doesn't have anything but his powers and himself.

Someone who can't love.

'She loves you.'

The thoughts only made him more stressed and anxious as he dug his fingers into the dirt on the ground to direct the pain elsewhere. She did not love him. She can't.

I love you Tom.

I love you Tom.

I love--

His scream pierced through the silent night. The painful rumble of his chest made his throat hurt and he screamed more wanting to feel anything else except this weird feeling when her words rang in his ears nonstop.