pulse || c. grimes TWD

27.

After the wolfs left or got killed, I attempted to climb over the walls but was stopped by Enid. I walked over to the walls about to climb them but she was behind me and she convinced me not to go over them but I haven't had the chance to see her recently as I've been confined to my apartment

Lately, I've been feeling down and stuck in my current state as before. It's like I'm not making any progress and it's weighing me down. I want to find a way to move on and break free from this feeling and leaving Alexandria felt like a way to but there's no way I could on my own

I heard knocking on my door, I was here alone since Max and Rio went over Mikey's house, so maybe they forgot their key or something, I opened my bedroom door and then walked over to the front door

As I opened the door, I saw Carl standing on the other side, "Hey" I said more like a question, "Where've you been?" Carl asked me, "Here" I mutter, "Come in" I added

We made our way to the living room, "How come your here then?" I asked him as it was quite unusual for him to come to see me as we've kind of drifted since Alexandria, Carl's expression became serious as he spoke, and I just knew something was up

"I heard from Ron that you two were dating," he said straightforwardly, and I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I took a deep breath and tried to explain. "It's true," I admitted, "but it's not like it's anything serious. I've been thinking about breaking up with him, which is why I didn't tell you. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it." Carl looked at me with a mix of emotions - concern, disappointment, and perhaps even a hint of jealousy. I could feel the tension in the air, and I knew that I had to tread carefully.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I said, "but I didn't want to hurt you. You're my friend, and I don't want anything to come between us." Carl nodded slowly, and for a moment, there was silence between us.

But then he spoke again, his voice dripping with disdain and resentment. "I just want you to be happy," he said, "but I can't believe you would date Ron. He's kind of a asshole and I don't want you to get hurt. You deserve better than that." It was a moment of tension and discomfort, a reminder that sometimes the truth can be harsh, but necessary.

"I don't want to talk about it, Carl," I said, my voice heavy with a sigh. I could feel his eyes on me, and I knew he was looking at my neck. "What's that on your neck?" I felt a wave of panic wash over me as I realized that the hickeys from Ron were still visible. My face turned red with embarrassment, and I quickly averted my gaze.

"It's nothing, really," I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. But Carl's next question caught me off guard. "Did Ron do that?" he asked, his tone accusatory. I felt my heart sink as I realized that he had noticed the marks. "Who cares if he did?" I replied, trying to brush it off. But I knew that Carl wasn't convinced, and I felt myself growing more and more uncomfortable.

I shifted in my seat and tried to change the subject. "So, what have you been up to lately?" I asked, hoping to steer the conversation in a different direction. Carl shrugged "Not much, really" I nodded, relieved that the topic had changed.

We chatted for a few more minutes, but I could tell that Carl was still thinking about it. Finally, he spoke up again. "Look, I don't want to pry, but are you okay? I mean, is Ron treating you right?" I sighed and looked down at my hands. "I don't know, Carl. I mean, things are fine between us" I lied to him

Carl nodded sympathetically. "I get it if you don't wanna talk about it but just remember, you deserve to be with someone who treats you right and respects you" Carl told me, I smiled weakly, "I mean I guess you're right" I muttered

"If something is up I can help you" Carl said, his voice full of warmth and understanding,

I nodded, taking in his words and feeling grateful for his insight. As we continued talking, I found myself sharing more and more about my relationship with Ron. I spoke about the times when he had made me feel small and unimportant, and how he would come to my window and only wanting a kiss and then leaving

Carl listened patiently, never judging or criticizing me. Instead, he offered a listening ear and a sympathetic shoulder to lean on Carl's voice was firm and resolute as he spoke. "You deserve so much better than that," he told me. "You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and value you for who you are." Although Carl's tone was somewhat flirty, I couldn't help but wonder if it was just my imagination

As he spoke, I felt a warmth spreading through my chest. Carl had always been a good friend to me, and I knew that he had my best interests at heart. But there was something about the way he was looking at me that made my heart skip a beat

I tried to shake the thought from my mind, telling myself that I was reading too much into things. But as I looked into Carl's eyes, I saw a flicker of something that made me wonder if there was ever more to our friendship than I had realized.

"Thanks, Carl," I said, my voice soft. "That means a lot to me." Carl smiled at me, his eyes shining with warmth and affection "Anytime" he said. "I just want you to be happy"

As we sat there, talking and laughing, I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for something more. But I knew that I had to be careful. I didn't want to risk our friendship by making things awkward or complicated and besides I'm with Ron for now anyways

However, the more I talked to Carl, the more I realized how much I enjoyed his company and how much I valued his friendship. It was like we had a special connection that I couldn't ignore, no matter how hard I tried

But I also knew that I couldn't act on my feelings. I didn't want to hurt Ron, and I didn't want to risk losing Carl's friendship. So I decided to focus on being the best girlfriend I could be to Ron and the best friend I could be to Carl. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do. And who knows? Maybe someday things would change, but for now, I was happy just to be Carl's friend.

-.-

Helloo im sorry for not updating in a while I've been busy I've been hanging out with my friends and boyfriends and didn't really have time to upload since I'm always out, but I hope you enjoyed, I will most probably be more active now, but I'm going on holiday next week so maybe I will post then but maybe not, remember to vote and comment and I will see u on the next chapter hopefully xx