Him

Still Not The Same

I woke up with the sunlight flooding through the blinds. I grabbed my phone and saw that it was three in the afternoon. I groaned and rolled out of bed heading to my shower. I turned on my shower, letting it warm up while I stripped out of my clothes. I walked into my shower, when a sudden wave of loneliness washed over me. I had gotten so used to taking showers with Tom, I wasn't used to taking them alone. I sighed and let the warm consume my body. I blamed myself for the whole interaction when we got back from the hospital, he probably thought I was going to sleep with him, but I couldn't go there, not yet. I could hold his hand and hug him, no problem. But I couldn't sleep in the same bed as him. In my opinion sleeping with your partner is super intimate, like your sharing a sleeping space, where the other can hear your every breath and every snore. That takes some sort of trust, some trust that I didn't have yet. I scoffed as I began washing my body and my hair. I decided to shave, even though I literally just shaved, my body was getting prickly again. I stood there for a few minutes over thinking my entire existence. Why I even existed, why did I break things off with Tom? We were only together for two weeks. 

I got out of the shower when my phone started ringing. It was Bill, of course it was. 'not like I was expecting Tom to call.' I thought and sighed to myself. I answered rather quickly. 
"Hey" I said in a flat tone.
"HIIII!!! What are you doing?"
"I just got out of the shower, getting ready to go out..why?" 
"Oh. Nevermind. I was gonna ask if you wanted to go out and party, but nevermind." He answered quite sadly. 'I don't think I can cancel either..' I thought about this for a moment, trying to rule out solutions of being able to make all of my friends happy. 
"Ariaaa? Are you still alive?" Bill laughed on the other line.
"Yea, yea. Well, I'm going to the club tonight, if you decide to show up randomly..try not to bring Tom though? Please?" I asked and my stomach started churning.
"Why? Tom always comes." He said and I snickered.
"That's what she said" I laughed and I could just hear the eye roll Bill was giving me.
"Well, I'm bringing a guy...and I don't want another fight breaking out." I said as I held my phone against my cheek, picking at my nails.
"OUHHH, ok. I'll try not to." He exclaimed. "But if I can't get him to stay here, then he'll have to come, because I miss you and I really want to see you." He said and I smiled.
"You just saw me yesterday." I said 
"Yeah, but can't I miss you?" He said and once again I could hear his eye roll.
"Ok!! Fine. But if he picks a fight with him I'm holding you personally responsible." I said and he squealed like a girl. 
"Ok, ok. I've got to get ready. Send me the address and what time. I'll tell you if Tom is coming or not." He said.
"Yea, I will. And you better, Mary-Anne and Gustav will be there." I said and he squealed, once again.
"Okkk. Bye Aria!! I love youuu!" He exclaimed.
"Bye Billlll, I love you toooo!!" I said and I hung up. 'what do I wear..' I trailed off in my thoughts when I heard a knocking on my door. "YEAH?" "IT'S MARY-ANNE OPEN THE DOOR WHORE!" I chuckled and walked over to my door, opening it and she barged in. She pulled me into a giant hug and my towel almost dropped. "AYE MARY-ANNE!!" I exclaimed and she started jumping up and down. "MARY-ANNE I GOTTA GET READY!!!" I said, laughing. She pulled away and said "Oh shit yea, I'm sorry" We both laughed and sat down on my bed. "So I'm assuming we're getting ready together?" I said and she smiled, nodding her head. "Ok, what are you wearing?" She grabbed her bag and pulled out her outfit. It was beautiful. It was a red colored dress, that went up to her knee. It was a silky fabric, and it was just a normal dress. But it was beautiful.