The Dark Ages Volume 2 [Formerly "A Somebody's Journey"]

Today

Even though we're celebrating it doesn't mean that we're all happy. We locked our skeletons in closets in preparation for this day, and we tried to put out the flames for today. Just because you put

out your flames doesn't mean I put mine out. Instead, I hid the flames and dealt with the pain. I never put the flame out because no matter how angry it gets and no matter how much I hurt, you fail to

understand and see the pain you cause me every time you call my "name." You fail to see the pain you cause me when i hear those words. Today, you get to transform into a beautiful butterfly

while I have to suffocate in these flames and try to stop them from burning the house down every time you open your mouth. Today, I have to be something I'm not. Today, you forced me into a

costume. I was a fool to think I could try and make myself feel comfortable in this costume because no matter what way I look at it, I can't see myself feeling like myself in it. I try to compromise just so

I can breathe, but all you want to do is smother me. You try to oppress me and put me in a corner with just barely enough room to breathe. Even though you try to suffocate and beat what's

inside of me, in the end, you can't because it's a part of me. I wish I could spite you in some way and show you what it feels like to not be able to breathe and to show you how it feels to

clench, your fists, and lower them out of helplessness, knowing that you can never fight back. I wish you would stop being so selfish and stupid. I don't even know who you are anymore. I don't

know who you were supposed to be. Our bridges are broken  battered and on fire. Even though you want to ignore the damage that you've caused, you're afraid to look at the damage at all. I always

thought you would be my best friend, but clearly, I was wrong. I loved you so much, and you threw it all away. it brings me great pain to say that I don't love you when I know it's not completely

true. Deep down, I still have love for you, and it hurts, knowing that almost all my love for you has faded. You've been putting me through hell and ignoring my needs, but it still hurts to say I don't love

my mother. This love we have now doesn't even feel real anymore. It is artificial and scraped from the bottom of the barrel. As I sit here writing this, I wish I could tell you how I feel, but I

know that if I did, it would just make things worse than what they already are. Deep down, I still love you with all my heart, but as of now, I can't stand hearing you say that you love me. Even

after everything you've done for me, what you've done to me is almost unforgivable. I want to forgive and forget, but you won't even take the first step. You just sit and act like I'm not

upset.