life

mistake

REMINDER: BIG TW R@PE!⚠️

George POV

"You're just a fucking gay bitch!" Henry shouts at me "chill- whats your problem?" I sigh at him.

"you." he says "with all those drugs and everything!"
"How on earth did you end up there- how could you fall so deep!" he yells.

"enough!" I shout "no, not enough!" he literally screams before pushing me against the wall.
"Have you looked in the mirror- How disgusting you look! I've to look at this face everyday, just like mom and dad have!"

I feel a sting in my chest.

"you done?"

"Fuck no, I'm not done!" he shouts.
"You know how wrong it is to like boys- you'll go into hell!"

"I would've ended up there even if I wasn't bi." I say "bi, trans, gay everything the same!" he screams.

"you do this almost everyday. It's always the same, think of something new for once." I push him away from me.

I take my phone and walk out of the door, leaving Henry alone.

I feel the tears in my eyes the more his words repeat in my mind, the more his voice gets to me and the more I feel the wind on my skin.

I don't want to get clean.
why should I?
I have the opportunity to forget about my bad feelings so why wouldn't I use it?

I take my joint with hash out before lighting it and smoking it. A calm feeling overflows me as my body shivers.

My phone makes a sound. I received a message from David.. I close my phone before even looking at the message and smoke my joint away first.

'you wanna come over? We want to take Cocaine since Gabriel brought it with him.'
I read the message after awhile before making my way to davids place.

"George!" I get welcomed by everyone in the room "Hey guys whats up?" I say as I sit down "not much. We want to take and drink." Gabriel tells me.

"Where did you get this?" I ask "the new drug dealer. It's only 60$ for 1kg." he says as he starts to get everything ready.

"really? That's nice!" I feel a big smile on my face as I take a paper since I don't want to use my money for this.

I didn't know he sells Cocaine.. but 60$ is still a lot of money, maybe not for cocaine but in general.

I move down and snifft it up into my nose.
It hasn't even been five minutes and I already feel my nose and my lips getting numb.

I breath out before taking the glass with whisky and drinking it in once. I throw my head back as I close my eyes to relax more.

I hear how they talk about me but decided to ignore them. I open my eyes as i stare at the ceiling and feel my heart racing.

I sit down straight and fill my glass with whisky again before drinking it. The bottle stares at me and I hear how it starts to call my name..

12:47am

As I walk home, with the whisky bottle in my hand, my ears start to peep. I rub them as the view gets weird around me.

Then I suddenly hear the same music as back then, the exact same with absolutely no difference.

My heart beats faster and faster as I see the situation in front of me.

I laugh as I feel a grip around my wrists "stop-" my view is blurred out because of the alcohol and the cocaine.

"why are you laughing?" I hear David smiling as he goes down to my neck "move it-" I start to push him but he won't move.

"David-" I say as I look into his face but he suddenly covers my mouth as his touches move down.

"stwop!" I try to move him away from me but it doesn't really work. The panic starts. My heart races very fast and my whole body starts to tremble as I try to free myself.

He suddenly turns me around and bends me over something. "David- this is not-" my mouth gets covered and my hair gets pullen.

I start to kick around but there's no luck on my side. The more I tried to scream, the harder he pulled my hair.

"just shut up." he whispers in my ear when I suddenly feel something inside of me. It starts to hurt, more than anything, it starts to burn.

My head gets slammed down on something as he starts to move. I couldn't scream anymore, I couldn't breath or say anything.

I just felt the burn and his hands over my body. I felt how I wanted to throw up and just die right away.. but it got worse.

"stop- plea-"
"shhh, it'll feel good in a minute." he whispers in my ear.

The peeping ends just as the music and I find myself sitting on the ground with tears in my eyes.

"Fuck.." I whisper to myself as I get up and feel how my whole body trembles.
Why did I remember it.. it was such a long time ago.

I forgave David, so why did it come back?
Was it because of the whisky? Because of the drug?

But I've taken those before and this didn't happen..

I open the door and throw myself on the stairs as I take my shoes off. I take another sip of the whiskey as I walk up into my room where I put the whisky next to my bed.

I wipe my tear away as I cry like a baby.
It is past so why am I crying now? I started to feel better, didn't I?

I touch my ear as I hear whispers around me.
The 'shh' and those other words of his keep coming into my ear.

It's disgusting, just disgusting.

But..
What happened, happened.

It's not like anyone would believe me since they know David is a good guy. Which is true, he is a good guy.

Of course he did a mistake which was really hard for me.. but doesn't everyone make mistakes?