life

avoiding

I've been avoiding clay the past week. I did everything in my power to avoid him which actually worked.

I've been dreaming those weird dreams every time now. No matter where or when I was sleeping those dreams came up and got worser each time.

I feel his eyes constantly on me in the lesson we have right now but I didn't dare a look back at him.

It's too embarrassing and I feel way to uncomfortable. I don't know if he notice it already, that I'm avoiding him, but I hope he didn't.

The bell rings which made me immediately get up.

"George!" I hear clay as I leave the room but ignore him.

Fuck!

I walk trough the hallway, with my books in my hand, when someone stops me.

"George, long time no seeing." David smiles at me "don't touch me." I slap his hand away "you know.. it was pretty shitty of you not helping me."

"why should I help you?" I smirk as I feel anger. He suddenly pushes me against the lockers as he angrily gets closer.

"Cause I've been your friend since forever!" he angrily hisses "friend my ass!" I glare at him before grabbing his hand which his grabbing my shirt.

"I should have reported you the first time." I push him "report me?" he laughs "you really think anyone would've believed that crap?"

"The police would." I smile "the police wasn't there." David uglily smiles back "there was none except from us!" I say.

"I'm a good person, everyone knows. If I tell them what lie you're telling the police they'll be on my side." He whispers in my ear.

I feel how my hand changes to a fist.

He smiles down at me.

"You look cute. You always do even when you cry, scream or get angry." David says.

I feel anger in me. I feel disgusted, impure and alone. "If I stay any longer I'll kill you." I whisper, cause I feel my voice breaking, and leave.

"Don't cry!" he shouts behind as tears already build up in my eyes.

"I hate him!" I shout as I kick against the trash and look into the mirror. I look at my red eyes while feeling myself getting weaker and weaker.

I grab the cigarettes I had in my pants and light one up before smoking it. I blow the smoke out as I feel myself getting a little more relaxed.

I close my eyes as I smoke the cigarette but the pictures keep coming up, they make my eyes burn.

I open them as I stare at the floor but my brain keeps thinking about that night.
The night broke me and I idiot forgave David.. I'm so stupid.

The second night was the night I meet Davids other side, the side I didn't know about, the side that made his words disappear.

The words that came out of his mouth, the heartwarming words.. those lies.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from everyone."
"You mean a lot to me."
"You're the only one I trust 100%"
"You have a special place in my heart."
"I could never hurt you like that."
"I'll do everything in my power to make you happy, to make you feel comfortable."

Those words make me angry!
I wipe a single tear away.

I regret not reporting David. It's now too late If I had done it right away it would've maybe make sense but now..

I sigh before throwing the cigarette away.

God.. my whole body feels disgusting.
I want to go home I really can not do this shit today.

I open the door and dump into Clay.

"George?"
I just ignore him and walk pass him, keeping my head down since my eyes are all teary.

"George!" he grabs my wrist and pulls me to him "what's wrong?" he goes down a little, trying to look into my eyes but I turn my head away.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he whispers "did I do something wrong?" he doesn't let go of my hand and I feel my heart hurting more.

I shake my head.

"Why are you crying?" he quietly asks me but I just shake my head. "Have you been smoking?" He suddenly asks but I shake my head "I smell it on you."

I feel how more tears build up.

"George.." he pulls me in his arms which made me tear up more.

I look like a total loser now.

"You wanna get some time?" I get asks "lets go home for now, alright?" Clay pulls me with him out side.

He's skipping school for me?

"Look an airplane!" Clay points to the sky while keeping his arm around me "are you a child?" I laugh with a rough voice.

"I'm just telling you." Clay says as he opens the door "we're alone so it's okay." he says as we walk in.

After we ate something Clay and I went to his room.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Clay carefully hugs me which made my whole body shiver.

I stare into his eyes without knowing if I should tell him or not. "You can tell me." Clay says as if he could read my mind.

"David just said somethings." I whisper as I look away from his eyes "what did he say?" he asks.

I carefully start to tell him what David said, without skipping anything, but I don't look into his eyes.

I can't.

"You can still report him." Clay says and continues before I could say anything "If we tell them what he said today they'll believe us and we've other people that can prove our point, have we?"

"Nick." I mumble "see nick and someone else?" I get asked "maybe Karl?" I say "I think he knows too."

"That's enough. If you want to report that fucker do it!" Clay looks me deep in the eyes "it's a long-"

"It's not a long time ago." he says "you can still report him George, trust me!"

I look down to his lips and back up to his eyes.

"He can do the same shit to someone else." he mumbles "do it and put him in the place."